Week of December 1, 2002
Yes, Harry, your wand does contain a Phoenix feather. What’s that you say, you’re allergic?
‘Forteen inches, very firm. Excellent for charming.. What are you giggling about?‘
‘The video arcade is down the street. Here we just sell small rectangular objects. They’re called books. They require a little effort on your part, and make no bee-bee-bee-bee-beeps. On your way please.’
Ollivander: I’m very sorry, young man, we don’t give away lollipops. Try Gringotts
Harry: Why Gringotts, Sir?
Ollivander: Gringotts is a bank, is it not?
‘So, you want to learn magic, do you? The key to remember is that the hand is quicker than the eye. Now, there is nothing up this sleeve…’
‘So, Harry, first, put your wand hand in your pocket. That’s good. Next, bring it back out like so. Excellent! Now, put it back in by your side, and shake it all about…perfect! Mr. Potter, something tells me we can expect great things from you in the future!’
‘And that, Harry, as gruesome as it sounds coming from an old man, is how babies are born.’
‘The thing is, Voldemort told me when he bought his wand, the twin could be sold to anyone but you. But I could give you a magic pink umbrella like Hagrid’s…!’
‘I am Torgo. I take care of the place while Master is away.’
‘I’m sorry, Harry, but Ollivander’s does not yet stock a wand powerful enough to make flannel attractive…’
‘Harry, Harry, calm down. We’ll play wizard chess again, and this time I promise… no eating the pieces…’
‘No, Harry, there’s no frequent buyer discount. I know there’s a wand-hungry tree at Hogwarts, but you’ll just have to be careful.’
‘I need to have a word with Chris about this.. Where’s the red sparks, people?‘
‘I’m going for the ‘Einstein’ look… how is it?‘
*Squeaky voice* ‘Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!’
‘You’re sure you don’t know any hair-do spells? I’ve been without a good haircut since 382 B.C.!‘