Week of January 12, 2003
Ron: Harry! I’ve got Book Five, can you believe it?!? It was in the Restricted Section until June 21st the WHOLE time!
Ron: And I will be the first one to read it! Nobody will be able to take it away from me! Having it makes me feel stronger, braver… I could even tell Snape what he deserves!
Snape: Tell me, how do I look in this color?
Harry: Well, it’s not that good..
Snape: 100 points from Gryffindor!
Harry: I like it!
Snape: 200 more for trying to get your other hundred points back!
Harry: I really do!
Snape: 300 more!
Ron: Shut up, Harry!
Snape: So, you thought I wouldn’t see last week’s ‘Eric’s Caption’?
Ron: Run, Eric, RUN!
Snape: Knock, knock!
Ron: Who’s there…?
Ron: …Orraaannggee wwhhooo?
Snape: Orange you glad I didn’t take 50 points from Gryffindor?
Snape: Too bad, 60 points!
Snape: Potter, Weasley.. *higher voice* I’m pregnant! Want to feel it kicking?
Ron: What the hell?
Snape: Come, Extremely-Poor-Red-Haired Boy! To the Snapemobile!
Snape: What are three young Gryffindors such as yourselves doing inside on a day like this?
Ron: Very funny, Harry, you sounded exactly like Snape!
Snape: I received your letter, Mr. Weasley, and I don’t think our relationship will work. Ten points from Gryffindor!
Ron: That letter was supposed to be for Hermione!
Snape: Weasley, how do you get your hair so silky and radiant?
Harry: Did you ever try washing it?
Snape: Excellent idea, Potter! But, as that was an insult to my personal hygeine, ten points from Gryffindor!
Ron: But… but..!
Snape: Hello, Clarice..
Ron: How’d he find out my middle name?!
Snape: Is that an enchanted map?
Ron: Oh no!
Harry: Ron, we don’t get the Marauder’s Map until the third year..
Snape: Detention for having a map that has not been given to you yet..
‘Hurry up, Rupert! We have to finish these movies before you have beards as white as Dumbledore’s!‘
Snape: hmm… maybe I’ll stick this ‘kick me’ sign on Weasley’s back and say Potter did it.. that‘d get him expelled..
Snape: Weasley, does ‘dandriff’ mean anything to you?
Harry: As much as I hate to say it, he’s right! I sometimes think Hedwig dropped a feather on your head, that’s how big the flakes are!
Snape: Mr. Weasley, I heard what you said to Miss Granger at the end of last year!
Ron: Who told him?!
Snape: I’m going to count to three.. there will not be a four. Now, give me my detonators.
Snape: Oh, sorry, practicing for the Broadway production of Die Hard!