Week of February 16, 2003
‘I told that boy not to fly too close to the house… Best get the rake to scrape him off…’
Vernon: Um.. Petunia, dear? I was wondering.. after reading the fifth book.. did you really spend a night with Voldemort and your sister?
Petunia: Uh… Imperius Curse..
Vernon: What is that?
Petunia: I don’t know.. Lily said to use that as the excuse..
Harry: What’s Uncle Vernon doing outside in his pajamas?
Vernon: I’m a little tea-pot short and stout!
Dudley: Daddy’s gone mad, hasn’t he?!?
Harry: It would seem so, Dudley.. It would seem so..
Vernon: Petunia, doesn’t that resemble a..
Wild Fan: Willie! Willie Neilson! Can I have your autograph?
Willie: Sure! Hey, that looks like..
‘Petunia, come look at this! Those damned Warner Brothers are filming here again, and they’ve parked a violet triple-decker bus right on our driveway!‘
‘Santa has a flying car now? Boy, times have changed…’
‘Blasted owls and their blasted aim!‘
-Nick and Dan
Neighbor: ‘Oy! Dursley! There’s owls flying over your house! What’s goin’ on?!
Vernon: Oh! Umm… The weatherman said, and the satellite showed that those Chinese rebelled, jumping up and down with picket signs and umm.. It threw the Earth 2 degree’s off it’s axis making the owls’ sense of direction blurry.. umm.. yeah!
Vernon: Do I look fat to you?
Snape: Sixty points from Gryffindor!
Harry: Where’d you come from?!?
Snape: That’s not your concern, eighty points!
Vernon: Please take me with you! I can’t stand this diet!
Harry: I would.. but this car’s hanging from a wire and…
‘Nooo! Take me away in your flying car! I don’t care if it’s magic, don’t you see the way this woman dresses me?!?’
‘J.K. Rowling! I know you’re out there! I’ve read the Facts page at MuggleNet and I know you’re going to do something to us! I demand to know what!’
Vernon: H…hh….Harry p..Potter! Ggg..g..ettt Baaaack here!!!
Harry: It’s Quirrell who stutters, wannabe!
Vernon: Nnn..nnoooo it’ss fff..frr..reeezing out here!!!
Vernon: Star light, star bright. First star I see..
Star: Oh, come on, do you really think I’ll grant you a wish after how you treat that Potter boy?!
Vernon: I want to go to Hogwarts too! I heard Harry talking about a… McGonagall, and *MEOW*!
‘Why couldn’t I have fake chest hair like Mike Myers in Austin Powers!?’
‘How many times have I told you not to take girls up to your room?’
‘Give me back my Mickey pajamas, Harry!’
-Anne and Sydney
‘Petunia! That boy has been lying in our flower beds again!’
Vernon: Petunia! Come quick!
Petunia: Yes, Vernon?
Vernon: Petunia! They’re making Prisoner of Azkaban into a movie! They’re going to make us look like gits AGAIN!
‘Petunia, come quick! It’s Harry flying away on Aunt Marge!‘
Vernon: How DARE you refuse! I am the size of three of these tiny cast members therefore I should get triple the salary!
Chris: Everybody is so greedy these days!
Vernon: Dudley! What are you watching up there?!
Dudley: *gasp, changing channel* Nothing, Daddy!
Vernon: That’s my boy!
‘I’ll get you, Potter! And your little owl too!’
‘It’s not here, Dudley! Are you sure you threw your turtle out of that window?’
‘Those bugs are getting really big!’
‘Can you hear me now?!? Goooood….’
‘A Ford Anglia? I thought they were extinct!‘
‘I’ll have you know, these bathrobes are the rage this year!! Stop laughing…!’
‘But, Chris, I’m getting too old as well! Can’t you tell by the constant whining?‘
Vernon: L, is for the way you look at me! O, is for the only one I see! V is very very extraordinary, E, is even more than..
Petunia: Vernon! For the last time, leave my yard before I report you to the authorities!