Week of March 2, 2003
Ginny: *Squeak of Excitement*
Ron: Here we go again…
Harry: What is it, Ginny?
Ginny: I.. I.. I found Waldo!!!
Harry: You mean that retarted Muggle in a striped shirt?
Ron: Yeah, tell me about it..
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen: The Wizarding world’s most dangerous creature living!
Snape: Huh? This isn’t Minerva’s bedroom….?
Ron: I know it’s for Comic Relief, but why‘d they have to get a woman to play my part?!?
Ron: What are you laughing at?!?
Ginny: You obviously haven’t seen Harry yet!
Gilderoy: I love you,
Ginny: You love me,
Molly: We’re a happy family!
Crowd: With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you..
Ron: …I’m starting to feel sorry that this memory charm backfired..
‘Why did mum take me to this strip club? It’s only for girls!‘
Ron: Mum, are you sure Ginny is old enough to see this? It said at the beginning of the movie that it contained ‘sexually explicit scenes‘….
Mrs. Weasley: Oh, that’s alright, dear. The sitter cancelled, and she’s too young and innocent to understand any of it anyway!
Ginny: *thinking* That’s what she thinks!
Molly: Ginny, dear, don’t you think Mr. Lockhart has the most gorgeous blue eyes?
Ginny: Yes, Mum, I like his pants too!
Ron: Bloody Hell! It looks like he’s been practicing one too many engorgement charms! No wonder he has to stand up all the time!
Ron: Harry! Are those teddy bear boxers you’re wearing?!?
Molly: Well, I think they look absolutely adorable
Ginny: Ron! Leave him alone, he’s so hoottt!
Rita Skeeter: The perfect revenge! ‘The Boy Who Wore Teddy Bear Boxers’!!!
Harry: HEY! Hermione gave them to me!
Molly: Ok, Children, everybody into the picture!
Ron: Why do we have to get family pictures every year?
Draco: *Rather loudly* Wow, there are more Weasley children than I thought. How do such paupers feed so many mouths? If I were her I’d just cross my legs once and a while and…
Harry: *Hexes Draco*
Molly: You can come into the picture too, Harry!
Ron: I wish Lockhart would really hurry up in the loo… Don’t know how much longer I can hold it!
Ginny: I’M NEXT! I’M YOUNGER!
Molly: Be quiet, you two! I think I can see something through the keyhole.. !!!
Ron: What’s wrong? You’ve gone bright red!
Announcer: Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the official Colin Creevey Photography Museum!
Ginny: Look, Mum! There’s all his pictures on the wall! There’s Snape, and Harry, and lots of Hufflepuff girls.. and..
Molly: Ron! Is that you with Hermione?!?!
Ron: No, that’s… um… Dang you, Colin!
Ron: Mum… Ginny looks like she’s disappearing!
Molly: It does look like that.. Ginny!
Ginny: I’m a ghost, Mum! I died in Book Five!
*Doorbell rings at Malfoy’s Manor*
Weasleys: Trick or Treat!
Draco: Excellent costumes! You look just like those poor Weasleys who can’t afford non-hand-me-down clothes!
Molly: *glares* we are…
Draco: In that case.. I’m not really Draco, *slams door*
Ron: Harry, now you’ve gone too far… First my sister’s drooling all over you, then my MUM! Atleast I still have Hermione.. Hermione?
Hermione: hmm.. look at that scar… aahh…… Hmm? What?
Ron: Nothing.. *sigh*
JKR: Hey Ron, Mrs. Weasley! Why so sad?
Molly: We just read the format for Book Five..
Ron: Yeah, turns out, I don’t get to do anything with Harry in this one..
Molly: And you’re bumping me off!
JKR: Why so happy, then, Ginny?
Ginny: I get to date Harry!
Ron: She stole my part! She gets everything! You give her everything!
Ron: Mum! What are all these black-haired people doing at our family reunion?
Molly: Didn’t I tell you, Ron? My maiden name is Snape!
Ron: But that means….!
Snape: That’s right, Weasley, I’m your Uncle!
…Irish Step-Dancing Confederation (ISDC) meeting, Sept. 1, 1992:The ISDC has now legalized a new style of folk dance more relevant to the 21st century: Irish Strip Dancing! Enroll your children in classes now to get them involved in the craze to come!…
(Note: Ginny’s the only one smiling..)
Molly: Isn’t it lovely that he went mindless? Now we can see him behind glass forever!
Gilderoy: *groans and sneezes*
Ron: Bloody Hell! He sneezed on the glass and a booger came out with it!
Ginny: Wow, a Lockhart booger!
Molly: Wonderful, Lovely, Wonderful!
Lockhart: Free autographs for everyone! And Ice-Cream and Ponies! And…
Molly: Can somebody say psychiatrich ward?
Ron: He doesn’t get out much, after all, does he?
Ginny: Be quiet! He’s giving out free ice-cream!
Molly: So that’s him? That’s Voldemort? Not what I had pictured for the greatest Dark wizard of all time..
Ron: Kind of disappointing… Now that Harry’s defeated him, he isn’t even remotely frightening..
Ginny: I agree.. If you tilt your head to the left he looks like Snape.. now that‘s scary..
‘Why is it that ALL our faces look abnormally long? Eric better get that scanner fixed!’
‘Look, Mommy! It says: Harry Potter Clones for sale: They come with magical powers and batteries aren’t needed! Can we get one, can we? Huh? Can we?!?’
Molly: Hermione! I never knew you were such a naughty girl!
Molly: those Muggles are right.. that Michael Jackson is creepy…
Ron: I wonder if he’s related to Snape..
Ron: I hate being poor! Mum, why can’t we get family portraits instead of following people around trying to get into the Daily Prophet? And why do I have to wear a stupid shirt with an R on it?!?
Molly: You can go naked for all I care then! And Harry, do be sure to get a picture of that! I need a good laugh!
Ron: Harry, what’s with the Gandalf costume?
Harry: I have come back to you now, at the turn of the tide..
Ginny: Oooh, sparkly!
‘Mum why do I have to come with? You’re just buying Ginny her first bra!‘
Ron: Mum, what is this ‘Wal-Mart’?
Molly: It’s a Muggle shop..
Ron: Hey, look! There are those plugs dad connects!
Ginny: I was wondering what to get him for his birthday!
Ginny: *croaks* Er…
Mr. Weasley: I’m too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my Illegal Flying Ford Anglia!
Ron: Dad’s gone mad!