Week of March 9, 2003
Harry: Wow! Look at the size of that thing!
Aragog: I know, I’m quite the lady pleaser!
Ron: I thought Hagrid..
Harry: I thought he did too..
Ron: Then why is that thing still..
Harry: I don’t know.. but remember..
Ron: Yeah I know.. but if that’s true then why…
Harry: *hits head* Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?
Ron: Remember though, we can’t leave the…
Aragog: will SOMEBODY fill me in here?!?
Harry: Umm… Mr. Aragog, sir?
Aragog: Yes?!? What do you want?
Ron: We’re sorry to disturb you, sir…
Aragog: What do you want?!?
Harry: We were wondering.. if we could borrow.. some.. ketchup?
Aragog: NO! Hey.. are you Harry Potter?
Aragog: Could I have a signed photo?!?
Aragog: I’m sorry, but I cannot deny my children fresh meat…
Harry: Nice knowing you, Ron… I’ll tell Hermione you love her!
Ron: Yeah, real funny, Fred! He turned my teddy bear into a spider again…
Harry: Ron, I don’t think that’s your teddy bear..
Ron: Yeah it is! I can make him squeak, watch…
Aragog: Goodbye, friends of Hagrid… ahahahha!
Harry: Hang on.. Chris.. why’s it so dark in here?!?
Chris: Well.. The lighting crew just found out that Wood’s been cut from PoA…
Ron: Bloody hell! Hermione! What happened? You’re a spider!
Hermione: Well JK always leaves me out of the fun stuff, I figured if I were more attractive I’d get to go on more adventures!
Harry: I know the second film’s supposed to be ‘darker’ than the original, but this is getting ridiculous!
Fang: *Barks in agreement*
Harry: We’re screwed!
Ron: What if we pull a James Bond? Lets take Fang’s leash and make a complex pully system. Then, using our shoes, make a bomb that will go off when we pull ourselves into the air with the pulley. After that, we use this tree root to make a bark-based helium fire and set the whole forest ablaze. Lastly, we slice apart Fang, and throw pieces all over the forest… that way the spiders will go after him and leave us room to escape in the helicopter we will make out of our shirts, a piece of rope, and a ciggarette butt!!!
Ron: You’re right… we are screwed.
‘It’s amazing how much your perspective can change when you mistake a Shrinking Potion for pumpkin juice…’
Harry: Sean, is that you in the spider costume?!
Sean: Yeah, after they cut Oliver out of PoA I had to take drastic measures…
Ron: But there aren’t any spiders in the third movie!
Harry: I think they’re still looking for a Cho, though!
Harry: I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves.. everybody’s nerves.. everybody’s nerves!
Ron: shut up, Harry, the spider might hear us…
Harry: I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes!
Ron: SHUT UP HARRY!
Aragog: Who disturbs me?!? You will die..
Harry: Smooth move, Ron, now I don’t even get a chance to look at my PlayWiz Magazine that Sirius… I mean.. somebody found..
Ron: Harry! Look at that thing, it’s huge!
Harry: Ron, it’s ok! The spider can’t attack if I’m protecting you!
Ron: No, it’s that huge zit on the back of your neck!
Ron: We’re going to the movies!
Harry: Want to come?
Aragog: what film?
Harry: Eight Legged Freaks
Aragog: Ah, my greatest film ever!
Aragog: Harry? Harry Potter? Is it really you?
Harry: Yes… It’s me…
Aragog: Oh my! Come out, everybody! I’m sure he’ll give signatures!!!
Aragog: Are you ready, kids?
Harry/Ron: Aye Aye, Captain!
Aragog: I can’t hear you!
Harry/Ron: Oh, nevermind…
Loud Voice: Honey, I didn’t shrink the kids this time–our kids anyway!….
Loud Voice 2: What?!
Loud Voice: Let’s just say our hero isn’t so big anymore!…
‘Yeah, hi. We’re looking for intimidating Quidditch players, and were wondering if you would like to play for Gryffindor…’
Harry: Where are we? I can’t see a thing…
Ron: I found a door!
Harry: Where? Hey, it’s Emerson’s room!
Ron: Wow, he sure has a lot of pineapples…
Emerson: *screams* Where’d you come from?!?
Harry: Through there. Hey, can I have a pineapple?
Emerson: Only if you get me into Hogwarts…
‘The big, humongous, kid-eating, hairy, disgusting, ugly, ferocious, poisonous, beady-eyed, very hungry spider went up the water spout…’
Harry: Here, Spider, Spider, Spider?
Ron: What are you doing?!?
Harry: I think we need a bigger box..
‘Remind me to get Aragog a razor for Christmas, he really needs to shave his legs!’
Harry: Ron, do you see what I see?
Ron: No, the Caption Picture’s too blurry…
‘So that’s what the real Moody’s going to turn Draco into in Book Five!’
‘Trolls and Acrumantula and Werewolves, oh my! Trolls and Acrumantula and Werewolves, oh my!‘
Harry: Calm, down, Ron, he’s not going to kill us..?
Aragog: You’re right, I’m not going to!
Ron: How come?
Aragog: Why, Mars is exceptionally bright tonight!
Harry: Kill us…
Ron: Hey… this is that fifteenth genetically-altered spider that escaped from the lab..
Ron: Yeah… I think so..
Harry: I know who Spider-Man is!
Harry: Paul Bunyan!
Seamus: Look Everyone, Potter’s got himself a Giant Spider!
Harry: He’s always around to get attention..
‘And they said Godzilla was one-of-a-kind….’
‘John Hammond can keep his island!’
‘Would you like a Girl-Scout Cookie, Sir?’