Week of March 23, 2003
Hermione: Harry! Have you ever read Hogwarts: A History? It’s a VERY informal book! *goes on and on*
Harry: *Thinks* If only I could push her off the cliff at the end of Hogsmeade.. making it look like an accident…
Hermione: Harry, Harry! Are you listening?!? It doesn’t seem like it to me!
Harry: …Huh? What?
Hermione: *rolls eyes* AAAAAGGGGHH!!
Harry: …Where’s a cliff when you need one?
Hermione: Harry, if you don’t mind, could I please go to the bathroom now?
Harry: No, you mustn’t! We must first defeat the Dark Wizard Moldyshorts!
Hermione: But… What happened to Voldemort?
Harry: It turned out his weakness was pink puppies…
‘Harry, don’t look now, but there’s a strange-looking guy from a web-site called ‘MuggleNet’ about to take our picture for his Caption Contest…’
‘So in this mirror, Ron saw… Me? Wearing what?!’
Harry: Hey, Hermione, how’s it going?
Hermione: *disgusted* Great… You know, Harry, I really think you ought to do something about your breath…
Harry: What? Oh no! I think Malfoy’s hexed my Winterfresh again, I knew it shouldn’t taste like onions!
‘Harry, I’ve been practicing in front of the mirror for centuries! Does this look like a good ‘Wow, I’m surprised’ face for me to make when Ron tells me he loves me?’
‘I’m sorry, Harry, I haven’t heard a word you’ve just said–Professor Snape’s over there in his new speedo!‘
Hermione: Harry, please don’t look at me that way… I know what you’re thinking…
Harry: Oh really? *sly grin* and just what am I thinking?
Hermione: You’re thinking about the other night…
Harry: Oh, come on, you enjoyed it just as much as I did!
Harry: It isn’t every day you can sneak into the Slytherin dormitories with an Invisibility Cloak and freeze Draco’s underwear!
Hermione: ‘You know, Harry, I..’ …Chris! The light is in my eyes, I can’t see my lines!
Camera Man: I’m not Chris, this is the set of Girls Gone Wild: Europe…
Hermione: Oh, alright then! *flashes camera*
Camera Man: Wow, this truly is the work of magic!
Hermione: Well, Harry, JKR said Book Five is going to have a lot of raging hormones in it!
Harry: …Yeah? And…?
Hermione: Don’t you think we should practice?
Harry: Hermione, I’ve got to talk to you!
Hermione: What is it?
Harry: I think I’m in love with you!
Hermione: What? That’s totally barbaric! Don’t you have any sense? Besides, I love Ron and he loves me too!
Ron: *face in chocolate doughnut* what? me? Love? You? AHAHAHAHHAHA!
Harry: You’ve got dirt on your cloak, did you know? Just there? *points*
Hermione: Nice try, Harry! I put a Cleaning Charm on my cloak, no dirt is allowed!
Harry: …I’ll never get her…
‘Hey.. um.. Chris? Can …. we… turn.. off.. the fan? I know I’m… supposed to look all… windswept… for Harry… but I can’t keep… my eyes open!’
‘When I squint my eyes like this, I look half Chinese! See, Harry? You don’t need Cho, you can have me!‘
Harry: Hermione, tell me, what did you see?
Hermione: Well, that creepy little Colin kid built a shrine for you, and I don’t even want to know how he got your underpants!
‘Harry, Truth or Dare?’
Hermione: Harry, I.. have a question for you…
Hermione: Will you, um… will you go out with me?
Harry: Sorry, I’m …already dating Ginny…
Ginny: Yeah, so stay away from MY man!
Wow, those breathmints do blow you away! Those commercials were right!
Harry: So how does my scar look? Those make-up artists can be a bit dodgy sometimes…
Hermione: Tell me about it! Call that a scar..?
Harry: Why, what is it?
Hermione: I suggest you go straight back to that trailer and order them to redo it, unless you want to show up on movie-screens with a lipstick L on your forehead!
Harry: Hermione, my feelings for you are stronger than any other!
Hermione: Sorry, Harry, but my heart’s already taken…
Harry: By whom, my sweet bumblebee?
Harry: That little–
Ron: HEY! Just because I’m not in the picture doesn’t mean I can’t hear you!
Chris: No, no! That’s not the look you give Harry, that’s the one for Ron!
Emma: I thought that one was for Ron?
Chris: No, that one’s for Draco…
Emma: No, no, Draco gets the disgusted look…
Chris: Get Rowling in here…
Harry: Umm.. I was wondering..
Harry: Can I borrow some mascara?
-Anne and Sydney
Hermione: So you’re saying Professor Trelawney made another prediction?
Hermione: What was it?
Harry: That I’d catch you in the trophy room doing the–
Hermione: HARRY! Besides, that’s not a trueprediction, it’s already happened!
Harry: Oh. Wait a second.. WHAT?!?
Hermione: How about this?
Harry: Nope, looks like you know too much..
Hermione: Gah! It’s so hard choosing what pose to be petrified in!
Harry: Hey, Hermione, did you realize we’re wearing a vest and ties? I thought we just wore robes..
Hermione: I don’t know.. when I asked Chris about it he gave me this weird look like he liked seeing eleven-year-old girls in boys’ clothing..
Hermione: I think you should break the rules! It’s in your blood!
Hermione: I’ll show you *leads him to trophy room* look, James Potter, most rules broken in a single year: 1,756!
Harry: Maybe I can break 2,000! Oh no! Malfoy already has 1,500, let’s go!
Hermione: Do you really think it was Snape who was trying to get past Fluffy?
Harry: Yeah, who else would it be?
Quirrell: *in the background* Me, I tell you, me! ME!
Hermione: And what’s your secret ambition, Harry?
Harry: To become a Girl Scout, of course! I’ve practiced my lines already, ‘Want to buy some cooo-kies?’
Hermione: Allll-righty then…
Harry: Are you alright, Hermione?
Hermione: Yes… *Bursts into tears* I failed my Divination exam!
Harry: I know.. apparently Professor Trelawney predicted that!
Hermione: Harry, you have a lipstick smudge on your cheek!
Harry: I do?!?
Hermione: You’ve been snogging with Parvati again ,haven’t you?!?
Harry: I have not! …it was Padma…
Trio: *looking at the Caption Contest Page*
Harry: *giggles uncontrollably*
Hermione: How is it that I only get to be in TWO Caption Pictures, and in BOTH of them I’m making a weird face! I think you MuggleDorks have something against me?!?
Harry: *still giggling*
Ron: Honestly I think your face is fine, Hermione…
-Mark and Linda
Harry: Uh Oh! Here comes Cho Chang! How do I look?
Hermione: I think I left some lipstick on your cheek..
Harry: Well wipe it off! Quick!
Cho: *walks up* What’cha doing?
Hermione: Harry, how dare you say that! *slap, walks off*
Hermione: Harry, do you think I should wear the purple dress, or the blue dress to the dance?
Harry: The blue one…
Hermione: Purple dress it is! Thanks, Harry!
Harry: Hermione? Why are you looking at me like that? I told you I don’t think we can do that sort of thing in public…
Hermione: It’s just a piggy-back ride! Fine then, how about a kiss? Would that be more civilized?
‘Well, I suppose if I squint my eyes and tilt my head a tad to the right.. you look like you have green eyes…’
Harry: Hermione? What’s wrong?
Hermione: Nothing… Just thinking about Eric from MuggleNet… You have to admit he did pick a g-r-r-eaaat picture of me this week! *sees Eric up in the clouds*
Eric: *smiles back* I know, I know… Don’t have to tell me. I’m damn sexy!
‘No, Harry, I won’t go out with you.’
Hermione: No! I Will not! *thinking* did he just ask me that?!?
Harry: Hermione! Please!
Hermione: No! We could both be expelled!
Harry: I wouldn’t tell anyone!
Hermione: I will NOT do that! *walks away*
Harry: Just this once?!
Hermione: *screams* NO!
Ron: W..W..What… I don’t even want to know what you asked her..
Harry: What? I just asked for the Transfiguration assignment!
Hermione: It’s Ron’s own fault he’s sick! Going into the teacher’s bathroom with your Invisibility Cloak hoping to catch a glimpse of that pretty new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! Good thing she wasn’t in there!
Harry: Yeah, well, I’d be sick too if I caught McGonagall in her knickers!
Harry: Let’s go through the trapdoor tonight!
Hermione: Ya, I read that book already, let’s not?
Hermione: What’s that smell?
Harry*Glances at Ron*
Ron: *Glances at Hermione*
Hermione: *glances at Hagrid*
Hagrid: *glances at Harry*
Chris: Stop it! You’re making me dizzy!
Harry: Hermione, I love you, will you marry me?
Hermione: I’m already engaged to Ron, you silly goose! Besides, MuggleNet.com says my future lies with Ron, not you, sorry…
Harry: Stupid Internet!
Harry: Did you hear? There isn’t going to be Quidditch in PoA!
Hermione: Why do they cut all the good scenes?
Harry: I don’t know…
Hermione: Well I’m saying this now: If I don’t get to smack Malfoy there’s going to be REAL hell to pay!
Harry: ‘You’re having an affair with DOBBY?!?’