Featured News
CC #026: Week of April 13, 2003

CC #026: Week of April 13, 2003

Week of April 13, 2003

Percy: Hey, Everybody! I’ve won the Humongous Idiot Award and… …FRED! GEORGE!
Twins: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Adam

Percy: Oh look, Mother! It’s an Easter card from our American cousin Carrot Top!
Mrs. Weasley: What does it say, Dear?
Percy: ‘Dear family, Have a wonderful Easter and don’t forget to dial down the center with C-A-L-L A-T-T!’
Mrs. Weasley: That boy… so dedicated to his work!
Percy: Yes, an example to us all
Twins: We think he’s a fruit
Ron: Completely mental…
Mrs. Weasley: You could learn something from that boy!
Ron: Like how to make a collect call with a Muggle Phone? When are we going to use that?!?
-Lady Pandora

A Stupid Owl That Doesn’t Work Properly: $50
Personalized Stationary: $20
Getting a Letter from Severus Snape Calling You His ‘wittle fluffy bunny wabbit': Priceless

-Jenilyn

Percy: *Looks at address* ‘Stupid bird! You brought us Lucius Malfoy‘s mail! *opens it, eyes light up, sniggers* Oh..’
-Katie

Dear Mr. P. Weasley,
I regret to inform you that you are not included in the 3rd movie… so pack your things and LEAVE!

-Gallardo

‘Err… it’s a gift certificate to Madam Malkin’s… the Sleepwear Department.. Somebody obviously wants me to get new pajamas!
-Steph

Percy: Let’s see what’s in the mail today.. hmm.. ‘Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!‘?
Harry: Tell me about it…
-Valentine

*While Percy is reading*
Hermione: Who are you?
Tea Kettle: I’m Mrs. Potts, dear, why don’t you have a spot of tea?
Chip: See? I told you she was pretty, didn’t I, Mama?
Wardrobe: Pretty? Is this kid blind or something?
-Vida

Percy: erph..
Molly: What is it, Son?
Percy: Errol just wrote us a letter…
Molly: What’s it say?
Percy: ‘I hate all of you, Weasleys! And Chris can get another owl for the job because I quit! P.S. I hope you all enjoy the business I did on your beds!’….
*Errol hoots menacingly*
-Bill

Percy: *reading* ‘Is your refridgerator running?‘ hmm.. well.. yeah.. it is..?
Letter: *shouts* Well you better go catch it!
-Nonny

Percy: *silence*
Harry: Huh?
Percy: *mouths silence*
Ron: We can’t hear what Percy is saying because Eric didn’t supply him with a bubble!
-Manda

Percy: ‘If you’d like to take the idiot test, please flip this letter over.‘ hmm.. *flips letter and reads* ‘If you’d like to take the idiot test, please flip this letter over.‘ … *flips* ‘if you’d like to take the idiot test please flip this letter over.‘ … *flips*
-Celeste

‘What?!?! I’m not an insufferable git!! …Oh…now I see, this letter is directed to Professor Snape…wonder how it got here…’
-Angelle

Percy: It’s our letters from Rowling! Hey, she’s sent us the first chapter of the fifth book! *reads beginning* a teenage boy in a flowerbed.. is that supposed to be you, Harry?!?
Harry: Yeah… so?
Percy: What were you doing in there?!?!?
Harry: Well.. erm… *blushes* Dudley was using the bathroom
-Lizzi

To Whom It May Concern
Due to upcoming world events, blurry caption pics, and the increasing amount of Lord of the Rings fans, there will only be one speech bubble to every twenty Caption Pics….

-Zooger

Percy: Oh my, it’s a letter from Penelope… she’s had a peak at Book Five and she’s going to…DIE?!
Arthur: Well, it’s a good job and all… we don’t want any blondies in our family!
-Nina

Percy: Oh, look, a notice from Eric at MuggleNet.com. It says.. er…
Fred: What’s it say?
George: It can’t be that bad…
*They take a look and gasp*
Ron: What is it?!? *reads* he can’t do this to us!!!
Harry: What did he say?
Percy: ‘No more Hufflepuff Common Room Jokes, Please!‘!!!
-Tom

Dear Homeowner,
CONGRATULATIONS! You have just won Lord Voldemort’s Clearing House Sweepstakes. You are now eligible for a prize of one million Galleons! All you must do is fill out the following form, accept the Dark Mark and a life of servitude, and this fortune could be yours!

‘Mum, we’ve got another one…’
-PhoenixSong

Percy: *reading* You have been invite to the Hufflepuff Common Room…
Eric: *apparates and rips letter up* NOOOOO!!!! I ended that saga WEEKS AGO!!!
Percy: You’re mistaken! That was for Penny’s surprise birthday party!
-Harriet

‘Wow, hey! It says I get to be in the Caption Contest! Hey! I don’t get a speech bubble?!? Alan gets one.. not me? Chris! I want to talk to you about my contract! Put in something about speech bubbles!
-Ashley

‘Yes! Yes! My Oprah magazine is here! Smaller butt and tighter thighs, here I come!
-Niousha

Your Seventeen subscription has ended again, Fred.
-Seroci

‘Oh no! PlayWitch has rejected my pictures AGAIN!
-Holly

hmm… I wonder what my caption for the contest should be… *falls asleep at the keyboard* eafjeifoajksakdkl…
-Bredjet

‘NO! I DONT WANT TO APPLY FOR A STUPID MUGGLE CREDIT CARD!!!’
-Angela

‘Gosh Darnit! Another fan owl for you, Harry! I wish those people at MuggleNet would stop giving out our addresses!’
-Erica

‘Harry, it’s a letter from Professor Snape! ‘Dear Harry, 200 points from Gryffindor, have a nice summer!
-Lady L.

Percy: Richard Harris died!
Arthur: He’s been dead for a while, now, Son…
Percy: How comes.. we’ve only been informed now..
Everyone: ERROOLLL…!
-Bloombaby

Percy: Hey, look, it’s our Hogwarts letters… They’ve sent us Har…
*flash of camera*
Percy: What was that?
Harry: The.. mystery Picture Taker just took your picture for MuggleNet.com!
Percy: This is the last straw! My first Caption Picture and I’m in my pajamas! What if Penelope Sees me like this? I’ll get you this time, Eric! ILL GET YOU THIS TIME!!!
-Whit

‘It’s from the Ministry of Magic! THEY FOUND WALDO!
-Ofelja

‘Fred, George, more letters from those bloody Olsen Twins…’
-Kate

Dear Mr. Weasley,
We are pleased to inform you that we have located your Prefect Badge. It had been placed at the U-Bend of Moaning Myrtle’s toilet.

-Caroline

Percy: ‘Dear Ron, it is time we sort out our differences:
I’m beautiful, you’re not.
I’m French, you’re not.
I’m smart, you’re not.
Sincerely, Fleur Delacour
‘!
Ron: Percy! Stop reading my mail!
-Phil

‘Huh?’

Dear Mr. Hunt,
Your mission is simple: FIX YOUR HAIR!
(this message will self-destruct unless you do so)

-Eric (Staff)

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Reddit0Share on Google+0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on TumblrDigg thisEmail this to someone