Week of May 18, 2003
Ron: Oh my god…
Harry: It’s… it’s…
Wolverine: …Hermione in a V-Neck!!!
Wolverine: Oh, sorry, Harry, did I scratch you?
Harry: Oh, no, I got that scar when I was a baby. A Dark evil Wizard gave it to me when he killed my parents…
Wolverine: Really? …WOW!
Wolverine: *Looks around* wait a minute..wasn’t I just fighting? Where am I?
Trio: *notices him* Aaah! You exist!
Wolverine: Of course I exist..but how did I get here?
Andrew: Aaaah, the beauty of cut and paste!
Wolverine: So what kind of name is Hermione?
Hermione: What kind of name is Wolverine?
Wolverine: My name is Logan…
Harry: What are you doing here?
Logan: I’m here to protect you…
Harry: Ok, I know Voldemort’s back and all.. but this is just a little too much…
Harry: Uh… Wolverine?
Harry: You’re in the wrong story.. this is Harry Potter, not X-Men…
Wolverine: Jo Rowling wrote me into the plot of Order of the Phoenix…
Ron: Why would she do that?
Hermione: Yeah, we can defeat You-Know-Who without mutants.. no offense…?
Ron: And it’s just silly! Combining the epic classic with a fad that went out ten years ago…
Wolverine: WATCH IT OR I’LL SLICE YOU!
Ron: Yes, Sir!
Wolverine: Why is it that I always have to babysit Redhead, Foureyes, and Hairbrush?!
Redhead (Ron): Wolverine, I see a spider… *squeaks*
Hairbrush (Hermione): Can I go back in and finish my Seventh Year homework now?
Foureyes (Harry): I want my mommy! Wait.. er… I don’t have one.. I want Redhead’s mommy!
Wolverine: C’mon, Ron, I need you to blow up those police cars over there!
Hermione: I’ll do it!
Wolverine: ‘So I hit puberty a bit earlier..sue me!’
Wolverine: Okay, are you guys ready to become mutants like me?
Ron: Hermione doesn’t need to… Andrew cut off her nose and made her head flat, so she’s set!
Trio: Hey..what the.. we thought this leaded to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters?!
Wolverine: ….My daughter made me watch Harry Potter One twenty-five times in a single night… It’s lucky you’re here when I have metal claws!
Hermione: ‘Oh no! These gloves totally clash with this outfit!’
‘Okay. I’ll scrape the paint off the house while you three mix and brush.’
Eric got so tired of people sending in captions to the suggestions box that he hired some trained assassins to seek his revenge for him!
Ron: Cool claws, dude!
Wolverine: Thank y-Hey! You’re not in this movie! Go back to your own!
Wolverine: You three stay back.. wait.. you’re not Rogue!
Hermione: Glad you’ve finally noticed! But why am I stuck in a movie where we’re all mutants and I have a dumb power and those two have cool ones?!
Ron: I’ve got a cool power? *starts blowing up cars* COOL!
Hermione: No, Ron, you’ve got it wrong. You’ve got the hot power, Harry’s got the cool one.
Ron: Oh yeah? Well my powers are still better than yours, ‘Mione!
*They start arguing*
Wolverine: Hey, Scar-Boy, are they always like this?
Harry: Yeah. I just stand here, make no noise, and pretend I don’t exist. *holds ears* Argh! I froze my ears off…
Ron: Dont’ worry, Harry, I’ll save you.
Hermione: Ron! Put your hands down, you’ll probably burn his whole face off!
Ron: Well my powers are STILL better than yours then, aren’t they?!
*They start arguing again*
‘Geez, could you guys put down your weapons? I’m babysitting Harry Potter and Friends right now!’
Wolverine: Okay, kids, I’ll make a deal with you. You help me defeat Magneto and I’ll help you defeat Voldemort.
Trio: Who’s Magneto?
Hermione: Er, Harry?
Hermione: Er… I don’t think that the Patronus is supposed to look like.. that…
Wolverine: What? Where am I?
Hermione: ‘You mean if I touch Draco, he’ll die? *grins* Cool!’
Wolverine: Hello, kid, I’m looking for Magneto…
Harry: You just missed him; he was in Dumbledore’s office last week!
Logan: ‘ …six long, sharp claws and nothing to do… *sigh* Hey! Can I pop that zit for you, Hermione?!’
Hermione: Umm.. who are you?
Guy: I’m Serious. Sirius’s brother.
Harry: And what are you doing here? Where’s Sirius?
Serious: Long story.. but he’s in the pound…
Trio: Harry Potter!
Trio: Harry Potter!
Magneto: Lord of the Rings!
Hermione: ‘Honestly, white gloves with casual clothes? I hate to think what Emily Post would have to say!’
Wolverine: So how do you two.. uh..
Ron: We’re working on it!
Policemen: Drop the magic wands!
Wolverine: I can’t…
Harry: Alfonso! What’s going on?
Ron: Oh no! It’s Wolverine!
Alfonso: His name is Mutant X101. And I’m not Alfonso. *Zip* I’m Bryan Singer, writer/director of X2! The real Chris decided you were too old for your parts.
Hermione: What actors and actresses can act better than us?!
Bryan: They’re not actors… they’re Pepsi Twists…