Week of May 25, 2003
Draco: I’m too sexy for my bed… too sexy for this sheet; too sexy for that table!
Crabbe: And he says we’re the morons..
Goyle: Yeah really…
‘I knew I shouldn’t have submitted my Caption Contest Entry to the Suggestion Box…!’
Draco: *whispers* Crabbe?
Crabbe: Yes, Draco?
Draco: Promise me, that if I die…
Draco: You’ll jump from the tallest tower…
Crabbe: Of course, Draco…
Draco: Pleeaasseee, Eric, Nooooo! Don’t take any pictures of me like this…!
Eric: Mouah ah ah!!!
Malfoy: ‘I asked the doctor if I would be able to play Quidditch after my accident… He said ‘Well, son, it’s no use lying to you. You couldn’t play Quidditch before you had the accident’!!!
‘Before I die, Crabbe, Goyle.. I have to tell you something. I stole the cookie from the cookie jar!!!’
‘Where is my face mask and cucumber? I can not open my eyes without them!’
Goyle: What happened to Dracie?
Goyle: Yeah, he said I can call him that! *giggle*
Goyle: Just one more push, Draco!
Crabbe: Aww, you have a baby girl!
Goyle: Do you think we fed him enough poison to kill him?
Crabbe: If we were lucky…
Crabbe: What’s wrong?
Malfoy: *groan* Middle child syndrome..
Goyle: But you’re-
Malfoy: *very loud groan*
‘…I told him not to mess with that mudblood…’
Malfoy: *groaning* Hermione… Rogue’s powers… not a good mixture…
Goyle: Is he dying?
Crabbe: No, the bleached hair just makes him look really old…
Crabbe: ‘…If it makes you feel any better, I lost my Avril Lavigne CD last night…’
Draco: Ugh… I shouldn’t have had those Girl Scout cookies… uuggghhh…
Crabbe: But.. but what happened to ‘Maniacle May’?!?
Goyle: Andrew and Eric got lazy…
Draco: I see… dead people!
Crabbe: No, that’s just Nearly-Headless Nick.. everyone can see him…
Goyle: *pouty* Just because you’re the smart one, doesn’t mean you have special powers!
Malfoy: Ok, here’s the plan: I pretend I’m sick and stay here, and then in the middle of the night we..
Malfoy: No, you idiots! Find Potter’s Invisibility Cloak, and…
Crabbe and Goyle: Ohhh……
Crabbe: He’s nauseous from waiting for the Order of the Phoenix…
Goyle: Aren’t we all?
Madame Pomfrey: Oh, stop your whining, Mr. Malfoy, you can go!
Boy #1: He’s lying there because he lost a bet with Potter..
Boy #2: More likely, he was dumped by Emma Watson…
Draco: I heard that!
Goyle: Malfoy, if you die.. CAN I GET YOUR BROOM?!
Boy #1: He’s dumber…
Boy #2: No, he’s dumber!
Boy #1: He is!
Goyle: What are you arguing about?
Boy #1: Alright, who’s dumber? you or Crabbe?
Both: I AM!!!
Draco: …I swear it!!!
Goyle: It was just a dream, Draco.
Draco: But it was so real!!!
Crabbe: Just a dream…
Draco: *sits up* But you were there! And you were there! And even you two unimportant people in the back who can’t even play Quidditch! YOU were there!