Week of June 15, 2003
Lockhart: Think carefully, take your time.
Harry: Umm… Cage #2!
Lockhart: …And in Cage Number Two is… an autographed picture of me! Aren’t you a lucky fellow?
Ron: *whispers to Harry* I told you to pick Cage Number Three…
Hermione: You look fabulous today, Professor!
Lockhart: You mean to say that I look merely fabulous and not stupendous?! What an outrage! Fifty points from Gryffindor!
Where will you be when your laxative starts working?
-Gwen W, Ed, and Lou
Lockhart: My name is Gilderoy Lockhart, but in the Mutiny Circus, they called me the Amazing Nightcrawler…
‘I can’t believe it! We waited all this time to find out what the Order of the Phoenix is, and it’s a hamburger, large fries, and coke!‘
Lockhart: Who wants cookies?!
Class: we do!
Lockhart: Hey! Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? There’s only one way to figure this out…
Hermione: I bet he is going to do a spell, he is really smart, you know!
Lockhart: Harry stole the cookies from the cookie jar!
Harry: Who, me?
Lockart: Yes, you!
Harry: Couldn’t be!
Lockart : Then who?
*15 minutes later*
Ron: We’ve gone through the whole class and still dont know who stole them!
‘…And now, my smart look!’
Lockhart: Harry, your worst fear is in this cage! Are you ready?!
Harry: I just have one question–How can you fit in a cage that small?
Lockhart: I finally found it. After months of ingenious work and battle, I caught him… and before your very eyes….
Students: Who?! Who?!
‘What do you mean I didn’t win ‘Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award‘ this year?!?’
‘…and this is the face that won me Best ‘Surprised, Yet Angry’ Face from Witch Weekly magazine! ‘
‘..And under this cloak….my newest book entitled, ‘I love me. Don’t you love me too?‘!!!’
Harry: What happened to Lockhart?
Ron: Someone got a hold of the fifth book … Sent him a scan of the page where the character dies …
Harry: *shakes head*
‘So this is what thinking feels like!’
‘Never fear, Boys and Girls! My speech bubble is under this cloak!’
Lockhart: I know the real reason Eric isn’t currently judging the Caption Contest! Not because he’s planning parties, but because I have him right here in this cage!
Lockhart: Hey! If I cross my eyes like this, I can see my nose!
Girls: *sigh* Oh, he’s so clever…
Hermione: Your look was almost complete, Professor, but I think you forgot your pants this morning…
Lockhart: Now, I ask you not to scream, even though this image may be quite horrifying!
Class: *gasp* Is that…?
Lockhart: Yes, it’s Draco MalfoyL the Incredible Bouncing Ferret!
Gilderoy: And in this cage… is the most dangerous creature you will ever come across…
*pulls sheet off*
Lockhart: Oh no!
Class: What is it?
Lockhart: I haven’t won the Crazy Caption Contest!!!
‘Is it even possible that I look better today than yesterday?‘
‘Class, guess who’s brain is in this cage!‘
Lockhart: Now, when I lift this cover off the cage, Harry will have totally vanished…just like magic!
The truth behind the curtain was too much for Professor Lockhart.