Week of June 29, 2003
Harry: *yawn* Flitwick’s classes are so boring…
Hermione: How dare you say that, Harry! This is a very educational property!
Ron: Hermione, don’t tell me you’ve thought up something like ATIFOCCSA: All Those In Favor of Charms Clsas Say ‘Aye’…
Hermione: *blushes* Well… well yes, I have… want to join?!
Too late did Hermione know,
As Ron Weasley’s face does show,
Trying to apparate from shower to bed,
She ended up in class instead!
Flitwick: So it’s swish, and flick!
Snape: *enters* What’s going on in here?!
Flitwick: Oh, I thought I’d teach the children a bit of sex education…
Harry: Oh, no! Someone has cast a spell on us! We look all distorted and blurry!
Eric: Sorry, my bad…
*Commercial warning children of the effects of long-term face-manipulations*
Director: Aaannnd…Cut! Okay, Ron, you can put your face back to normal now Ron. Ron? RON?!
Harry: Professor? You fell off your desk!
Hermione: How many wands do you see?!
Seamus: Look, Every’un! Hermione’s spell backfired and she’s hanging upside-down!
Harry: What in the world is that?
Seamus: A flying feather.
Ron: A flying feather? A flying feather? Why couldn’t it be a flying butterfly?!
Harry: Umm, is Professor Flitwick supposed to be stuck to the ceiling like that?
Seamus: I don’t think so…
Ron: Let’s throw something at him… maybe he’ll fall down…
Ron: ‘Oh, come on, Hermione! Stop showing off! I know you can levitate a feather, but levitating Professor Flitwick is just going too far!’
Professor Binns: ‘Today in History of Magic, we will talk about the forging of the ring of power by the Dark Lord, and the courage of the great wizard, Gandalf…’
Harry: Dark Lord? Wizards? What rubbish!
Hermione: Oh! Look at that awful creature!
Ron: It’s so hideous, I think I’m going to be sick!
Harry: It’s awful! The most repulsive thing I’ve ever seen!
Seamus: And look, that dark creature next to Lockhart looks pretty bad too!
‘Ron, you can’t juts blow on the feather–you need to use the spell!‘
Peter Pan: Just think of a happy thought!
*Professor Flitwick squeezes his eyes shut*
Peter Pan: Bloody Hell!
The Whole Class: ‘You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!‘
Peter Pan: But, I left Tink’s dust in Neverland!
Ron: Hermione’s just concentrating too hard on her levitating charm…
Harry: Hey, Ron, are you okay?
Ron: Yeah, I always look like I’ve just seen a picture of Snape in a thong…
Seamus: Okay, man, as long as you’re okay…
Rupert: That’s not fair! My audition was ten times better then Eleanor Columbus’s and she got the part!
Daniel: Rupert! You’re not working hard enough at Occlumency! Do you want to have nightmares?!
Dan: Er, Rupert…
Rupert: Yeah, Dan?
Dan: I think you’ve got the wrong script. See, you’re not supposed to change into Crabbe until the second movie! So quit making that face… it’s kinda creepy…
Ron: Wingardium Leviosaw!
Harry: Hey, where did my glasses go?
Seamus: What’s wrong with Ron?
Harry: He just swallowed his speech bubble…
Harry: It’s a bird!
Seamus: It’s a plane!
Ron: Eergh, no, it’s just Eric…
Ron: Hmmpph! I can’t believe Hermione is the star of the Caption Contest!
Seamus: Hold on.. you can hardly see her in the caption.. just her hand.. it could be anyone…
Harry: Hey! You’re right!
‘Ron, quit making faces at Peeves!’
Harry: What’s Hermione doing on the ceiling?!
Ron: ‘Thought I’d teach her a lesson–Still think I’m saying it all wrong, Hermione?!
*Professor Binns enters through the blackboard*
Harry: Ron, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost!?
Flitwick: ‘Now, the best start-phrase for selling Girl Scout Cookies is…’
‘Hello, everyone! It’s me, your sixth year Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Aragog!’
Ron: What did that teleprompter just tell me to say?!
‘Witches! Wizards! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury…’
Seamus: ‘How comes hers doesn’t blow up?!’
Harry: ‘Erm..Ron? Why are your boxers floating around the classroom?!’