Week of January 18, 2004
Crabbe: Why do you have ‘TGIF’ written on our shoes, Draco?
Draco: Toes Go In First, stupid!
Draco: ‘Hey, guys, look what I just got pierced!’
Malfoy: And have you heard about this one-line caption rule? Please, any simpleton could do that!
Crabbe: Simpletons can do it?
Malfoy: *Singing* Fruit Salad, yummy yummy! First step – slice the bananas!
Draco: You think there’s someone who’s worse than Dumbledore?
Goyle: Narcissa Malfoy?
Draco: Heh, good one, Goyle… Hey!
Goyle: Draco, I’m not feeling the love anymore…
Crabe: Yeah… … what he said…
-Alli & Rosie
Draco: ‘Okay, let’s go through this one more time: A, B, C… D, E, F, G….’
Malfoy: ‘What is this? Eric tells us to use one-line captions and then he goes and does a long caption?! Hypocrite!‘
Goyle: The… r-red….do-og….ran….d-down…the…rod…
Draco: Road, Goyle! Road! Come on, don’t you want to learn how to read?!
Draco: ‘I have called you all here today to discuss the tragic disappearance of my stuffed monkey, Mr. Snuggle-poo…’
Draco Malfoy: *With barbie dolls in hands*
High Squeaky Voice: ‘Stacey! That outfit is so totally cute!‘
The Stacey Doll: ‘I know, Tiffany, isn’t it?!’
Draco Malfoy: The end! What do you think?
Joshua Herdman: Hey, Jamie?
Jamie Waylett: Yeah?
Joshua: D’you think we’d be allowed to write ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Ronald Weasley’ under ‘roles’ on our resumes? Now that would impress, and I mean technically we did play them!
Malfoy: ‘Okay, which one of you used my Pretty Pretty Pony set?!’
Malfoy: …And then he said, ‘and that’s just the top of it!’
Crabbe and Goyle: Er…
Malfoy: *mutters* Last time I ask Dobby for joke ideas…
Malfoy: Alright, here’s an easy one: what is our house name? I’ll give you the first part: Slyth -
Crabbe: Er -
Goyle: Um -
Malfoy: Good one, Goyle…
Malfoy: And that, boys, is how babies are made!
Crabbe: But… how does the hippogriff know where to fly to?
Malfoy: You just haven’t got a clue, have you?
Malfoy: What do you think you’re doing, Crabbe?
Goyle: He’s undressing you with his eyes…
Malfoy: And how do you know?
Crabbe: Because he is doing it too! Heheh…
Malfoy: ‘I’ve finally found a way to get Weasley in trouble. His second cousin twice removed, Eric, tells everybody to send in one-liners but then types up the longest caption!’
Crabbe: *BUZZ* ‘What are ”Shakespeare’s Soliloquies”?’
Draco: Which one of you has been using my hair gel? How am I supposed to get chicks without it?
Crabbe: *Thinks* ooh… what Alfonso has in store for you…
Draco: Hi, my name’s Draco…
Assembled: Hi, Draco!
Draco: …and I don’t think I’ve ever actually eaten a fish…
Assembled: Oooh! *Enthusiastic claps*
Draco: *Sheepishly* Heh… thanks….
-Amy and Sam
Draco: For the last time! Who tried to give my father a thimble?
Crabbe: Dr-draco? Do you think that if I turned blue, the oompa loompas would come and roll me away?
Draco: ‘And that’s how you write ”baboon”… are you ready for ”backside”? It’s a big word, but don’t let it scare you…’
‘Remember, Crabbe, Goyle: There is no shampoo or conditioner – only hair gel, and those too weak to seek it…’