by Andrew Lee and Robert Lanto
“Last Time I Eat Them”
– Ron Weasley’s Comment (Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them)
Minister of Magical Control and Regulation
Department of Magical Control and Regulation
Office of Misinformation
Ministerial Assistant, Magical Control and Regulation
Billywig Importing Problem
As recent activities by merchants of illegal magical goods indicate that illegal Billywig importing has grown exponentially over the past few weeks. For those within the Department of Misinformation who are unfamiliar with the Billywig, here is a quick profile of the insect:
Native Home: Australia
M.O.M. Classification: XXX
Notes of interest:
-Stings known to cause feeling of giddiness and levitation
-Dried Billywig stingers can be used in potions
-Component of Fizzing Whizzbees (Classified as per agreement in ‘Fairness of use of Magical Goods’ Act)
-For additional information please consult Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them
As part of the ministerial task force in charge of locating the source of this problem, we have made several shocking discoveries. The recent increase in Billywig importing can be directly related to the recent problems at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Recent ministerial intelligence indicates the increase in importing began shortly after confirmation of the return of You-Know-Who. Upon further research ministerial agents have discovered that the illegal imports have been linked to two primary locations in England. Our task force has found that some of the Billywigs are destined for sale in Diagon Alley, but the majority has been shipped to several illegal dealers within Hogsmeade.
Upon further research bulk of the sales are made to several students of Hogwarts. Correspondence with Albus Dumbledore has revealed several startling facts. The discovery of these facts has prompted this internal memo, as any publication of these facts could be embarrassing to the British Ministry of Magic, the Minister of Magic and the British Wizarding Community.
The increased Billywig importing has been linked to Harry Potter and several other Hogwarts students. According to an internal investigation conducted by Albus Dumbledore has shown that Harry Potter is responsible for the increased consumption of the Billywigs in question. It is probable that Mr. Potter has turned to stinging himself with the Billywigs for the associated effects. Given Mr. Potters fame it is probable that has actions have convinced several other students that the use of Billywigs in this fashion is considered acceptable.
Further investigation by ministerial officials has confirmed Dumbledore’s investigation. Talking with Arthur Weasley (Department of Muggle/Wizard Relations) has revealed several alarming letters from his son Ron Weasley concerning Mr. Potter’s increasing Billywig use. The younger Weasley has mentioned increasing concern over Mr. Potter’s use of the Billywig, despite Mr. Potter’s assurances that he uses the effects to only calm himself down. While we cannot deny the effects of a Billywig sting, a study conducted by physicians at St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries cannot confirm whether the stings are actually medically beneficial. Also, a consultation with physicians indicates that possible side effects and dependence on the Billywig may result from constant use.
It will be very embarrassing that one of Englands most famous wizards has turned to using Billywigs. Considering the ministry cannot suffer another blow after confirmation of the return of You-Know-Who, the ministry must act to suppress this information immediately. Also, a meeting must be arranged to discuss options on how to deal with the situation with Mr. Potter. The task force also recommends that the students of Hogwarts be told of the danger of the overuse of Billywigs and that ministerial agents move to stop the illegal import of Billywigs before the situation spirals out of control.
Ministerial Assistant, Magical Control and Regulation
This article was written for participation in Mugglenet’s Burrow Section, January Edition. Subject: Favorite Fantastic Beast, Animal, Etc.
Now you may be asking what, this article has to do with anything. This is easy, the short book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them describes almost all of the fantastic beasts, animals, creatures and whatnots that appear in J.K. Rowling’s magical universe. However, the Billywig caught my eye as interesting because of the description. Basically, to me, the Billywig shows the dark side of the wizarding world. The Billywig is like a drug, pure and simple. Young people take it to feel the effects, regardless of consequences. The intent of my article is to show that even something as simplistic as getting addicted to a few stings can have dire consequences.
Now, you are probably also asking who Harry Potter is the addict. This part’s a little simpler if you remember the ending of Order of the Phoenix. Considering the impact the death will have on Harry’s life, it’s probable that something like this could happen. As it goes, if Harry didn’t turn to Billywigs the only other thing we could currently think of him doing in the next book is crying all day (in the bathroom) with Cho Chang.
So why the boring Ministry of Magic Memo? Well, originally it was going to be a letter from Ron to his father, but we couldn’t include all the facts about Billywigs unless it was written by an authority figure. But, we didn’t want one who was high in the chain of command or we could say they would all know these facts.
Well, hopefully this article has given you a fresh outlook on another piece of J.K. Rowling’s interesting books and till next time: Don’t Do Billywigs!