Featured News
CC #067: Week of January 25, 2004

CC #067: Week of January 25, 2004

Week of January 25, 2004

‘Tell me right now who turned off the Technicolor! I said now!
-sbfan87

REMEMBER -
Uncle Voldy Wants
You!
Join the Dark Forces
Today!
The Pureblood Nation is calling on you!

-Emeyers

‘Okay, where’s my bagel?! I’m not performing in color without my bagel! What’s that you’re eating, Chris?’
-Ttrek

Alex Trebeck: Welcome back to Jeopardy! Tom, the board’s yours!
Tom: I’ll take ‘Future Dark Lords’ for 1000 please…
-Arianna

Tom: Hagrid, I must stop you… before it kills again!
Hagrid: But a lil’ bit o’ interpretive dance never hurt anyone!
-Robert

Tom: It’s amazing, isn’t it, Hagrid?
Hagrid: What’s amazing?
Tom: How someone so dashingly handsome, smoldering hot, and utterly irresistible can be this evil!
Hagrid: *Mutters* You know it’s a guy judging the caption contest, don’t you?
Tom: Rats!
-Lara

‘Now, where did I put that ”Win a Caption Contest” spell?’
-Hannah M

Tom Riddle’s Nightmare:
Tom: Mr. Snoogies! Come back!
Mr. Snoogies (the Teddy Bear): *Drifts away*
Tom: *Chasing after in slow motion*
-Yvonne

Harry: What are you doing, Tom?
Tom: *Ignores Harry*
Harry: Hello?
Audience: He can’t hear you, Harry. You’re in color; he’s in sepia. It just can’t happen…
-William

Dumbledore: …and the next ‘Tom Riddle’ goes to… Michael Jackson!
Colin: Oh, he certainly deserves to win; he’s definitely touched us all…
-Ella

*A group of Death Eaters are playing ‘CLUE’ *
Avery: Ooh, ooh, I know who did it! It was Madam Pomfrey with the jinxed rope in the Department of Magical Transport!
Tom: Show-off… Aveda Kadevra!
-Keya-bee

Dark Arts lesson #311:
1) Stand straight up.
2) Look slightly apprehensive.
3) Hold your wand out.
4) Be prepared to be beaten by a teenage black-haired boy; for he has been proven smarter than you will ever be.

Tom: *Thinking* No wonder this stuff doesn’t sell… it just isn’t inspirational!
-Kylie J

Tom: ‘*High-pitched voice* Eww! Gross! Get that yucky spider out of here! Squish it! Squish it!
-Jade

‘I didn’t want to do this, Hagrid… *smiling* Well, actually, I did…’
-Darcy

Tom: ‘Eeny, meeny, miney, mo… Sorry, Hagrid, but your monster’ll have to go!
-Jerrica

‘Kids: *Taunting* Riddle me this, Riddle me that…
Tom: And this, Harry, is why I became Lord Voldemort…
-Cait M.

Tom: *To Harry* I shall call you Squishy, and you shall be mine, and you shall be my Squishy! Come here, Squishy…
Harry: Crucio!
Tom: Ow! Bad Squishy, bad!
Dori: Wow, I know I’ve heard that line somewhere
-Lindsey

‘And if you call now, you too can be the owner of this lovely, fifty-year-old diary! Er… pay no attention to the slightly-transparent teenager emerging from the book…’
-Jackie

‘They’ll have your pants for this, Hagrid…’
-Raika

Tom: *Looking in a mirror* If only I was as cute as Sean Biggerstaff… then maybe I wouldn’t have this internalized angst directed towards my Muggle father leading me into this life of violence, lusting for immortality and world domination. But no… Sean is much cuter…
-Carrie

‘Yes! Soon I will rule the world, and every 3rd Wednesday we shall eat Chinese food and fight for the rights of all little fuzzy animals!’
-Tiff

Christian: ‘*Exasperatedly* Years at Cambridge… strange artsy plays, dumb children’s shows, stuffy period pieces, and now this: prancing around in a dress with a stick in my hand!’
-Amelia

‘Here’s the stick they dislodged from your posterior, Severus…’
-Seph

Riddle: Your love has broken the curse… I’ll never have to kill again…
Mr. & Mrs. Weasley: …Really?
Riddle: *Evil grin* Nah! I’m just screwin’ with ya!
-Lisa

Ron: Bother! Bother! Bother! Bother!
Harry: Bother! Bother! Bother! Bother!
Ron: Bother! Bother!
Tom: This is enough to drive any super-villain into Rehab!
-Kristin

Harry: But Tom, I meant they’re good for your soul!
*Heavenly music plays; Harry turns into an angel with clouds behind him*
Tom: I have no soul!
*A fiery place of doom appears in the background and a deep voice laughs*
-Lyra

Hagrid: Whatcha up to, Tom?
Tom: Well, it says ‘stay tuned’, so I’m staying tuned…
Hagrid: Er… how long you been at it?
Tom: 3 days, 19 hours, 42 minutes, and 13 seconds…
Hagrid: Okie *walks away*
-Dudette

Tom: Mother! What have you done? Mother! *cue ‘Psycho’ violins*
-Kitsune-chan

Tom: ‘Freeze, Columbus! If you don’t put me in another movie, I’ll turn you into a 2nd Unit Director faster than you can say ”Home Alone”!’
-Sax

Riddle: Boe a hûn neled herain dan caer menig!
Hagrid: What? That’s not your line?
Riddle: I know, but my boyfriend might be watching and he says I look sexy when I speak Elfish. Hey, Jeffy-poo! I love you, sugar booger!
-Lisa I

Tom: But… it was so real… *pointing to Neville* you were the cowardly lion… *points to Snape* and you were the tin-man, *points to Gilderoy* and you were the scarecrow…
-Elizabeth

Tom: Lord Voldemort is my past, present, and future! *Spells out I AM LORD VOLDEMORT*
Harry: Hey! That’s a pretty cool trick!
Tom: Yeah, I know! And, if I jumble the letters again, getting rid of an M and an R but adding an O, I can spell ‘TREADMILL VOODOO‘!
-Rachel

Tom: That’s what you stepped in, that’s the white substance on your shoe, and that explains the abrasion on your palm! Let me play that back for you: !mlap ruoy no noisarba eht snialpxe taht dna ,eohs ruoy no ecnatsbus etihw eht s’taht ,ni deppets uoy tahw s’tahT
-Epigo

Th-That‘s Malfoy? That’s who everyone thinks is the heir? Puh-leez! He looks like that Muggle, Aaron Carter! (I doubt he could really damage anything other than my ear drums!)
-Elena

Tom: *To the mirror* I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, gosh darn it, people like me!’
-Erin

Chris: Okay, everybody: places!
an: Aaaaaaaaaaaalrighty then, Chris!
Tom: Hey! What’s Jim Carrey doing here?
Jim: Warner Bros. was lookin’ for a Riddle character, and it sure beats green tights and purple question marks!
-Eric [Staff]

Harry: Do you think it suits him?
Hermione: Yeah… Eric is way better anyway…
Eric: Hey, thanks, guys! Thanks to your supreme magical talents, he’s finally out of the picture…. or, well, into the picture, haha!
Emerson: Hey! Lemme outta here! Guys? Guys!
-Eric [Staff]

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Reddit0Share on Google+0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on TumblrDigg thisEmail this to someone