Featured News
CC #075: Week of March 21, 2004

CC #075: Week of March 21, 2004

Week of March 21, 2004

Uncle Vernon: It’s one-eyed, one-horned…
Aunt Petunia: Aah! It’s a flying purple people eater!
-Courtney

Vernon: ‘Transfigurasius Dudleyius Dinosaurius? What sort of gibberish is that?
-Hobsy

Petunia: Oh, Duddeykins! You’re definitely going to win the costume ball in that outfit!
Dudley: …What outfit?
-Kristina

Hagrid: Er, uh… sorry about yer boy, Mr. Dursley… I… I only wanted ter put a piggy tail on’im…
Dudley: I love you, you love me; we’re a happy family!
Uncle Vernon: Well, at least he isn’t a Teletubbie
-RJ

Ron: *Gives a blood-curdling scream*
Harry: What? What is it?
Ron: Don’t look, Harry – it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen!
Harry: But I’ve already seen the dinosaur…
Ron: Dinosaur? I was talking about your aunt and uncle in their underwear! *Shudders*
-Jon

Vernon: Are you sure this is where Marge wanted to meet us?
Petunia: That’s what Harry said… and I can smell her perfume too – Eux de Lizard Breath.
-Glen

Alfonso’s original vision for PoA: Harry doesn’t inflate Aunt Marge – he turns her into a rampaging T-Rex. Although JKR nixed the idea, Alfonso’s idea of Marge as a man-eating dinosaur is actually quite accurate and the clip will show in the DVD Bonus Materials.
-Ginger

Dinosaur: It’s just a step to the left, and then a step to the right. Put your hands on your hips, then tuck your knees in tight!
Uncle Vernon: How did we wind up in Transylvania?
-Jess

Little did Vernon and Petunia know that the Dinosaur Crunch cereal they’d bought at the supermarket was… special…
-Angie

Unfortunately, at the start of June, it emerged that the old rumors of Steven Spielberg directing a Harry Potter movie were in fact true…
-EwanTR

*STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!*
Vernon and Petunia: Aah! *Turn and mumble, terrified*
T-Rex: *Stomps up to them, stops, and lowers his head to eye level* Pardon me, but would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?
-Jade

*ROAR*
Vernon: Oh, don’t mind that, it’s just the cat.
Petunia: Uh, Vernon? We don’t… have… a cat…
*They both exchange worried looks*
-Bella and Anna

Oh, great. As if we didn’t already have enough problems on our hands dealing with the Christian fundamentalists complaining that Harry Potter promotes witchcraft and Satanism; now they’ll be complaining that Harry Potter is evil because it endorses evolution!
-Lara

Vernon: ‘Well, Marge, Ripper’s had a few square meals…’
-Sarah J

Dinosaur: ‘Honey, come quick! There are humans in our yard!’
-Greenleaf

T-Rex: *Thinking* Yumm…foood…
Uncle Vernon: *Thinking* Yumm…foood…
-Kimi

J.K. Rowling’s early planning stage for Book One…
JKR: Hmm… *chewing on a sugar quill* Alright… so then the Dursleys are forced to take Harry with them to Jurassic Park and when Dudley makes Harry angry, Harry accidentally makes the high-voltage fence disappear and…
Vernon: Umm, Ms. Rowling? You don’t suppose we could do this at some place… less dangerous… like the zoo with an escaped python?
Rowling: Hey, who’s writing this story – you or me?!
-Selena

Petunia: Don’t eat me! He’s fatter and I’m sure he tastes better! If… if you want I’ll even help prepare him!
Vernon: WHAT?
-Auriana

Voiceover: Millions of years ago, before the time of man, dinosaurs roamed the earth. There were many fierce dinosaurs, but none so fierce as the Vernonsaurus or the Petuniadactyle.
-Charlotte

*Welcome to the Famous Witches and Wizards slideshow for Muggle families with magical children*
Mr. Weasley: Oh, and this slide, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, is Madame Maxime, head of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, walking in one of the many gardens in her school…
Vernon: Um, I think Dudley’s ‘Jurassic Park’ slide was in there before you turned the machine on…
Mr. Weasley: Oh! His autobiography! How fascinating!
-Sarah

Petunia: ‘Told you we should’ve taken a left at Albuquerque…’
-Anmol

They could not find him in a boat,
They could not find him with a goat.
They could not find him in a train,
They could not find him in the rain.
They could not find him in a pan,
They could not find the camera man!

-Melissa

Dursleys, meet the Dursleys – they’re a stupid Muggle family,
From a place called Surrey, they’re about to be eaten with glee…
-Eric [Staff]

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Reddit0Share on Google+0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on TumblrDigg thisEmail this to someone