Week of July 4, 2004
Ron: Hey, guys? Maybe if we all look in completely different directions, it will force Peter Pettigrew to appear?
Sirius: Well, it’s worth a shot…
Ron: *Looking at caption image* Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?!
Harry: ‘Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo…’
Harry: ‘Could someone get that light? It’s ruining the atmosphere of this movie…’
*The Missing Scene*
Harry: I get it now! So you are Padfoot, Professor Lupin is Moony, Peter Pettigrew is Wormtail, and my dad is Prongs! And you were all friends back at Hogwarts!
Lupin: Yes, Harry, you are correct. I remember the day we were going to play a trick on Snape, but your father stopped him before he came in contact with me in my werewolf form…
Harry: So that’s why Snape is always angry at me – he thinks my father did that to save his own skin?
Alfonso: Cut! That was good, everybody, but – didn’t seem very kinky so I’ll just cut this out…
Daniel teaches the rest of the cast how to do the Hokey Pokey.
‘Only the fool looks at the wand that is pointed to the convicted murderer, Ron…’
Hermione: ‘Oh no, I’ve dropped my contact! Nobody move!’ *Gets on all fours and searches carefully*
Harry: What are you staring at, Sirius?
Sirius: That… is not a rat…
Ron: No, it’s a floorboard…
Ron: Aw, rats, it was a trap…
Sirius: ‘Rats’ exactly!
Sirius: ‘Not only can I turn into a dog to hide from everyone, but I can also cover my face with my clothes and blend right into the walls of the shack!’
Ron: Simon says… put your arms down by your sides.
*Everyone present puts their arms down*
Harry: *Raises wand hand*
Ron: Harry, you lose! I didn’t say Simon says!
Harry: *Mutters incoherently and walks off*
Ron: ‘H-hello… my name is Ronald Weasley and I – and I – I’m afraid of spiders…
Everyone: *Claps supportively*
Everyone: *Chants* The Wonder Ball goes ’round and ’round, to catch it quickly you must be bound, if you’re the one to hold it last, I fear for you the game is past, and you – are – out!
Ron: Hey, no fair! I’m the one who’s been letting a squeaky old criminal sleep in my bed for the past twelve years – I deserve a do-over!
Lupin: Harry, be reasonable, you don’t need to kill anyone… Oh no! My hand disappeared!
Sirius: MINE TOO!
Both: *Running around screaming* Aaaah!
Ron: *Squirms* Sirius, stop looking at me like that… *Blushes*
Big Red Chicken: ‘Hey, you guys aren’t Dora and Boots!’
Sirius: So a werewolf, an escaped convict, and an Animagus rat walk into a bar…
Lupin: Please, don’t.
Sirius: Well excuse ME for attempting to lighten the mood!
Hermione: Professor Lupin!
Lupin: Ms. Granger!
Ron: Err, umm… Scabbers!
Scabbers: That’s Peter, Ron…
Everyone: *Stares shocked*
Ron: Where wolf?
Hermione: *Pointing to Lupin* There wolf!
Harry: *Pointing at Sirius* There dog!
Sirius and Lupin: …
Sirius: Please, all I want is this free toaster, see? I have the coupon right here!
Harry: *Puts hand inside imaginary circle* Harry Potter geeks, UNITE!
Everyone else: UNITE!
Snape: *From outside corridor* ‘Okay! I’m going to burst in and look incredibly smug and dangerous now! Are you all ready? Are you all watching?’
Werewolves, animagi, and rats, oh my!
Ron: Hey, Sirius, what’s the difference between Hermione and an umbrella?!
Sirius: I don’t know – what?
Ron: You can shut the umbrella up!