Week of September 5, 2004
Harry: You know, you really should make Ernie learn to drive a little better…
Stan: Probably. ‘Oy, Ern, mate? You know how we was wonderin’ bout that thing we hit? Well… you killed him!
Mystery Man: *Whispers* Peaches…
Harry & Stan: *Whip around* I like peaches…?
The Red Light / Green Light Championship
Harry: Protect me!
Conductor: It’s just a Chihuahua!
Stan: Ern! That was my zit cream you just ran over! *Dissolves in silent tears*
Harry: Umm, I think we need to talk to J.K. Rowling…
Harry: Because we just hit a great big black hairy plot point!
Harry: I told you about Mrs. Figg’s cats, you know…
Stan: Poor little kitty!
Stan: What ‘choo lookin’ at?
Harry: Just an escaped murderer in the form of an unregistered animagi who’s attempting to track me down and kill me horribly and slowly.
Stan: …Right… What ‘choo say your name was again?
Harry: Now THAT is something you don’t see every day!
Stan: Er, what, Voldemort in a tutu? Wassamatter, don’t you ever read fan fiction?
Stan: What’s that?
Harry: It’s your long lost brother! And look, he’s as pimply as you!
Harry: Tom Felton!
Mavis Beacon: I’m here to offer language lessons to people who can’t say ‘who’ properly.
Stan: ‘Look, Ms. Rowling, would you like to come on to the bus? It’d be a lot easier to write than while clinging to the back of it…’
Harry: *Looks rather nervously at the bus* Is this thing safe?
Stan: Well, it sure ain’t getting’ any safer!
Harry: There! Right there! Can you not see it?
Stan: Yeah! There’s bird poop on this window!
Harry: ‘Actually… I was only waiting for the ice cream van…’
Stan: What ‘choo looking at?
Harry: Bless you.
*To the tune of Moonlight Bay*
Stan: We was driving along… over England…
Harry: (Over England)
Stan: When Harry Potter stuck out… his arm to say…
Harry: (My arm to say)
Stan: He was gonna say Lumos, but saw a Grim!
Harry: (I saw a Grim!)
Stan: But then The Knight Bus came and scared off him!
Harry: (Annnd scaaarred offff hiiimmmmmm….)
Stan: ‘You’re not gonna eat that twinkie… are you?’
Harry: I found him!
Stan: Found… who?
Harry: Ew, gross! What’s that all over the front of the bus?
Stan: That would be all the old lady residue from the past five takes…
Shrunken Head: Hey, I can only save so many…
Stan: Eh, Neville, watchu lookin’ at?
Stan: Then why was you lookin’?
Harry: I don’t know… cause you were?
Harry: I didn’t know Hermione shopped at Victoria’s Secret…
Stan: Yeah – they aught to call it ‘Hermione’s Secret’…
Harry: Is anybody looking?
Stan: I don’t think so…?
Harry: Great. I’ll go play on the swings, you’ll stand and keep watch, and then it’s your turn.
Harry: Bless you!
Stan: No, no… watchu –
Harry: -Bless you!
Stan: No! Watchu lookin’ at?
Harry: Oh! Nothin…
Stan: I know.
Harry: I never would have thought.
Stan: Me either.