Week of October 3, 2004
While they were waiting to go to Hogsmeade, the Hogwarts students decided to play a game of Telephone.
Neville: I was born to two aurors at the end of July…
*Ten Minutes Later*
Harry: Cornelius Fudge has goblins baked in pies?
The signing of the petition to end all Spice Channel captions.
Filch: *Writing furiously*:
Hanging children by their toesies,
Pinching their snotty little nosies,
Torture is what I like to commit,
Come here, you little brat, and sit!
Minerva: Your request to join the MuggleNet Staff has been denied, Potter. They say that you’re an imposter fan.
Harry: Oh… but I am Harry Potter!
As part of MuggleNet’s new ‘No Child Left Behind’ program, a record number of extras were allowed in this week’s caption.
When word got out that you could read the remaining Harry Potter books via the Room of Requirement, people from all over England lined up.
McGonagall: ‘Mr. Potter, it is only necessary that I deny you access to Hogsmeade in front of the entire school. How else would all attention be drawn to you?’
Harry: ‘Umm… please don’t spear me with your hat…’
McGonagall: ‘Potter, I’ve told you time and time again. You may not clone students to make an army to fight Lord Voldemort.’
Dumbledore’s Funeral Reading.
McGonagall: ‘To Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley: 9 Sickles and a Dungbomb. Next!’
Narrator: ‘Suddenly, Democrats realized that a definition of marriage was necessary…’
‘Harry, will you accept this rose?’
McGonagall: ‘Well, Mr. Potter, it seems that you are the only one left who hasn’t questioned Alfonso Cuaron’s artistic integrity…. And for that, I cannot allow you to go to Hogsmeade.’
Harry: You know, MuggleNet really does keep setting themselves up for all these ‘Back-of-my-head’ captions…
Harry: Is it really necessary to humiliate me in front of all of these people just because I can’t go to Hogsmeade?
McGonagall: Of course! It builds character. You’ll need that in the next four books, by the way…
McGonagall: Your dog ate your permission form? Really, Mr. Potter, is that some sort of joke?
Harry: No, seriously, Professor. I forgot to give Sirius his breakfast this morning and… well, he was hungry.
Harry: Look, Professor… It’s not that we’re not enjoying Filch’s rendition of Everybody Wants to be a Cat… it’s just that we would all much rather go to Hogsmeade!
Filch: …Everybody’s pickin’ up on the feline beat… ‘Cause everything else is so ob-so-lete!
McGonagall quickly regrets her rather immature remark of ‘You and what army?’.
-Charity and Emily
The entire congregation watched as Harry took his first Magical Communion…
McGonagall: *Shakes his hand* ‘Congratulations, Harry, you have finally earned your degree in ‘’Appearing in Caption Contest Pictures”.’
McGonagall: I’m sorry, but all of you have been expelled from Hogwarts because of the move. The new castle simply doesn’t have enough room… that new clock takes up a lot of space.