Week of December 5, 2004
Neville: *Singing* ‘It’s the good ship lollipop. It’s a nice trip to the candy shop!’
Neville: My precious!
Neville and Lollipop Shippers: Yay!
Neville: Finally, for the first time in my entire, deprived life, I am tasting the essence of a lollipop, and am hopefully about to experience a sugar rush!
Harry: I’ll be taking that, thanks…
Neville didn’t realize he had chosen a ‘Giant Sideburns’ lollipop…
No matter how hard he stared at the lolly, Neville could not turn it into Hermione.
Thanks to the promise made to him by The Management that the Caption Marquee wouldn’t distract people anymore, Neville could finally enjoy his lollipop.
Neville: We represent the Lollipop Guild!
Seamus: The Lollipop Guild!
Dean: The Lollipop Guild!
Alfonso: Cut! Those copies of Harry Potter and the Wizard of Oz were just a joke!
Neville launches his singing career with a small gig at Honeydukes.
Neville: ‘We’re live here at Honeydukes where, quite frankly, it’s a madhouse! It seems that someone alerted the public that with every purchase of Cockroach Cluster, another chapter of Book Six will be completed. While some see this as a Honeydukes marketing ploy, others have obviously taken it to heart, and the unpopular candy is now almost sold out. Management, back to you!’
Neville: I don’t care what Seamus says. If people can spend 3 minutes and 15 seconds staring at the Caption Marquee, then I can spend just as long staring at this lollipop!
Neville: ‘What is it with the dancing? A few weeks ago it was ‘’The Robot” and now suddenly the guy next to me is doing ‘’The Egyptian”?!’
Neville: *Sings to his lollipop* Oooh, you make me live. Ooo ooh, you’re my best friend… Do you think I could be the next British Idol?
Seamus: Yeah, whatever.
Seamus: ‘Well, Harry’s up at Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione are off walking in the snow… There’s not another really famous actor in site… THIS SCENE IS ALL OURS, BOYS!’
Seamus: So, you guys want to visit the Shrieking Shack after this?
Neville: Nah, I don’t believe in restless spirits. It’s all a bunch of nonsense to attract tourists. Okay, if there are any restless spirits listening to me now, I don’t believe in you, so if you’re going to do something creepy, you had better do it now!
Harry: *Steals Neville’s lollipop*
‘Hey, cool! Remembrall on a stick!‘
Neville does his best Princess Leia impression.
‘Help me, Lollipop Kenobi; you’re my only hope…’
Neville/Lollipop Shippers: Yay!
Eric: If you guys don’t shut up with that annoying shipping, I’ll have to ban ALL ‘shipping’ captions!
Eric/Angst Shippers: Yay!
Neville practices for the upcoming Karaoke Night at Hogwarts.
Neville: ‘The Management says that The Caption Marquee of Good Newsness will no longer take away from the Caption Contest. Pff, yeah, and some invisible person is gonna steal my lollipop…
Neville: This looks really good… but so did that nasty broomstick in First Year and those pixies in Second…
Seamus: You’re right, Dean, Neville’s earmuffs are furry like a bunny…
Dean: Hey, guys, my teapot impression is way better than Professor Trelawney’s!
Neville & Seamus: Erm…
Neville: All right… Bunnies. They’re fuzzy. *In sudden panic* And they’re ATTACKING MY HEAD! AAAAH!
‘Call my baby lollipop
Tell you why
Her kiss is sweeter than an apple pie
And when she does her shaky rockin’ dance
Man, I haven’t got a chance!’