CC #114: Week of December 26, 2004
Week of December 26, 2004
Harry: Santa said that I was too naughty this year…
Ron: Did you get coal?
Harry: No… he said coal was too simple to transfigure with magic, so instead he turned me into a figurehead.
Harry: I don’t know what it is, Ron, but lately I’ve been feeling really… detached… from the rest of the world.
Ron: I can see why!
Harry: Hey… maybe if I stay like this, I won’t have to go to the Yule Ball in Year Four!
Ron: …Why is that?
Harry: ‘Cause I’ll have no-body to dance with! HAH! …Get it?
Ron: But, Harry, the spell was called ‘Head and Shoulders’… what did you expect it to do? Honestly!
Harry: Well, Ron, in the Muggle world ‘Head and Shoulders’ has a far, far different use.
‘Harry… did you realize that putting on the cloak not only made you invisible, but also made the both of us look younger?’
‘Hey, Harry! Maybe this year you can be the ball that drops on New Year’s!’
Ron and Harry: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!
Harry: And my New Year’s Resolution is to not have such a big head about my fame!
Harry was so angry that the Caption Contest once again featured a Movie One picture, he ended up squelching his whole body when he tried to prematurely apparate and kick Eric.
Ron: Um, er… Harry? Your body… it’s gone.
Harry: I know – It’s the only way to keep the fangirls off me.
Harry: *Singing* I’m too sexy for my body, too sexy for my body, too sexy for…
Ron: Harry… uh… you know, your body is actually gone…
Harry: *Gasps* I knew that was really an incantation! No song is really just that horrible!
Ron: Moody warned you, Harry… ‘Never put your wand in your back pocket’!
Harry: Yeah, and I guess I lost more than a buttock.
A continuation of Eric’s 3rd caption from the week of February 1st-7th, 2004.
Harry: ‘I knew we should have told her…’
Harry: Why did they go back to showing first year captions?
Ron: They thought they were getting a-head of themselves…
Harry: *Looking down at computer screen, reading the CC Scroller* I didn’t know the Caption Contest fund had enough money for Eric to buy himself a car!
Ron: *Also reading* They have a fund?
Hermione: Well of course they do! How else would they pay for bold text – magic?!
Rupert: Er, what happened to the rest of you, Dan?
Dan: MuggleNet couldn’t afford the rest of me after Eric bought that new car for himself…
Ron: Well, we got rid of that ugly sweater – too bad about the rest of you.
Harry: ‘I wonder now whether I can keep Nearly Headless Nick company – I can be Completely Bodiless Harry!’
Ron: ‘All this waiting for the sixth book is really eating away at you…’
‘Harry, I seriously doubt that that’s what Dumbledore meant by making you Head Boy…’
Ron: ‘Hmm…. Apparently funding wasn’t the only thing they had to cut, Harry…’
Ron: Harry, what are you doing?
Harry: *Looks up from JKR’s Site* If I can’t be the Half-Blood Prince, then I might as well be the Quarter-Bodied Prince!
Ron: Harry, where did your body go?!
Harry: Probably through puberty…
‘So, Harry, what do you think of my new Photoshop Spell?!’
‘Erm… Ron? My… head itches and…’
The Hogwarts [de]Cap[ita]tion Contest.
‘Maybe we could dye you red and use you as a Quaffle?’
Ron: *Looking down at Kreacher* ‘This is what you look like when you have your head cut off and nailed to a plaque like the rest of your family. Observe…’
Harry: Professor Umbridge has taken her Education Decrees way too far. Look at these:
Educational Decree 29: No more ‘’back of the head” captions.
Educational Decree 30: No more shipper captions.
Ron: What’s next – no more ‘’Management” captions either?
Trelawney: Worse… no more captions about mentioning ways to get Eric to pick your captions.
Harry: Didn’t he already say that he wasn’t going to pick those anymore?
Lord Voldemort’s Trophy Room.
Snape: *Enters* ‘Going around school without your body! Five points from Gryffindor!’
Harry: …Is this foreshadowing something…?
Book 7: Harry Potter and the Unfortunate Beheading