Week of January 16, 2005
‘So come up to the lab, and see what’s on the slab…’
Crowd Below: Hail Hitler!
Lupin: *Blushes* Aw, geez, thanks guys. Here, have some chocolate – HEY!
‘Let’s get ready to ruuuuuummmbbllleee!!!‘
Lupin: ‘Attention: Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?’
‘What do you mean I shouldn’t have planets in my office because I’m not the astrology teacher? Ask Hermione Granger – she recognizes a clue when she sees one!’
Lupin: Oh, and before you go, Harry, remember to look at the bigger picture before you submit your caption entry.
Harry: Yes, sir, I’ll remember that, but I can’t do it now.
Lupin: Why not?
Harry: You have to book in advance for the IMAX.
So Professor Lupin, realizing that he would remain an outcast in the British wizard world as a werewolf, decided to try his luck in France. Unfortunately, the only job he was able to get was as a hunchbacked bell-ringer.
‘I have an announcement to make! Anyone interested in getting an early lesson on werewolves should see me in my office tomorrow at about ten o’clock!’
Now that Lupin had arrived at the golden arches, he couldn’t decide what he wanted to eat.
(Continuation of Emily’s caption last week)
Lupin: Eric, why is my classroom so small?
Eric: *Snickers* I got that television…
Dan: Look, homage to Chris Columbus!
David: It’s a painful one, though. Honestly, if we were going to do this, let’s take something from Harry Potter – not a paint can from Home Alone!
Lupin: It’s a Wonkavator! An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways and slantways and longways and backways…
Harry: And frontways?
Lupin: …and squareways and frontways and any other ways you can think of. It can take you to any room in the whole castle just by pressing one of these buttons. Just press a button and ZING! You’re off!
Hermione had known about Professor Lupin’s werewolf complex, but Harry also started to question the professor’s humanity when he broke out in an accapella version of ‘You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog’.
Hitler – I mean, Lupin, looks down on his newest recruit.
Harry: ‘Um, Hitler – I mean Lupin – you’re looking for PRINCE Harry…’
Lupin does his best Southern Baptist Preacher impression.
Lupin: ‘So, Hermione and Viktor, I hear you want lessons on Defense Against the Dark Hormones. Well, you’ve come to the right place!’
Lupin: ‘Here, have another three bars of chocolate.’
The results of a movie endorsed by Hershey.
And so, having been shunned and scarred for life by his fellow classmates, Lupin became the Phantom of Hogwarts.’
‘To the Bat Cave, Harry!’
‘Sirius, Sirius, wherefore art thou, Sirius?’
Introducing the newest celebrity wizard diet – The MuggleNet Caption Contest Diet! Simply be featured in the Caption Contest’s latest image and you are guaranteed to lose some serious pounds even and look taller!
Lupin: No, no, no, Harry – it’s Expecto Patronum – not Shrinko Professum!
Harry: *Mutters* Humph, I’m feeling rather angsty today…
‘I’ve got a house-elf up here! Wanna see a Michael Jackson impression?!’
Lupin: Harry, I’m leaving the school. Parents won’t want a werewolf teaching their children.
Harry: I guess once you’re gone they can rest assure knowing their children will only be taught by sadistic ex-Death Eaters…
What Professor Lupin sees in the Mirror of Erised – Who knew he wanted to be a singer?
Lupin: *Singing* ‘…and I’m hungry like the wolf!’
‘Yes, our rooms have beautiful balconies that even a werewolf stoops to look over. Allow 10-12 months for shipping.’
‘Hi! I’m Remus Lupin, and welcome to the Trading Spaces Castle Special!’
Cuaron: Okay, let’s make this into a musical.
Thewlis: *Sings* Aahoo, Werewolves of London!
Cuaron: Good! No go and growl in Emma’s ear.
Thewlis: *Mumblingly sings* Perverts of Mexico…
The D.A. Wants YOU!