Week of February 6, 2005
Dan: ‘Excuse me… did you just mumble the word ‘’precious”?’
Hunchback: ‘Come, Esmerelda!’
Potter Entertainment Television proudly presents Tom – the world’s best conga dancer.
Tom: And this is where I ring the bells!
Man: Master, it’s alive!
Fudge: Of course it’s alive, how many times must I tell you that he’s the Boy who Lived, Igor?
Rare set photo from filming of the final HP installment, ‘Harry Potter and the Hunchback of Notre Dame’.
Hunchback: *Muttering* ‘We’ll get the precious, yes, we shall…’
Tom: Let’s do the Time Warp again!
Fudge: It’s just a jump to the left…
Harry: Jan- I mean, Hermione, why is Professor Snape wearing a corset?
*Cough cough* Tip?! *cough cough*
Harry: ‘Did you accidentally drink Skele-Deform when you were a kid?’
Tom: And this will be your cell. Welcome to Azkaban prison.
Harry: But I’m innocent, I tell you! How was I supposed to know that kidnapping our creator’s daughter in hope of gaining information on the next two years of our life was a federal offense?!
Tom: Harry Potter… at last…
Harry: *Thinking* at last what?
Be… our… guest!
Be our guest!
Put our service to the test!
Tom: *Thinking to himself* I should have played Igor in Van Helsing… at least they had realistic-looking werewolves…
Eric: *Thinking* ‘Wow, the Lord of the Rings captions practically write themselves nowadays, don’t they?’
Tavern Keeper: Right this way, Mr. Potter. Eric has it on high authority that you were rooting for the Patriots…
Harry: Honestly… I didn’t know… my computer is a Mac!
*Singing* ‘We’re off to see the minister, the wonderful Minister of Magic!’
–In continuation to Monaza’s Caption—
Harry walked into his room at the Leaky Cauldron thinking it was unoccupied, and suddenly also wished that Scotty would beam back Snape’s clothes.
Tom: Hello, Clarice…
Tom: Smart bird – she came moments after you arrived! Lovely dinner; I mean, bird…
Tom: Thith Way, Mathtor…
Harry: Err – when I said I wanted to be an organ donor, I kind of meant after I died…
It was suddenly revealed to Harry that his pet owl, Hedwig, was actually an Animagus named Quasimoto.
Harry: ‘This is a Five-Star Hotel with Central London locale and Old World charm?! Darn you William Shatner and Priceline.com!’
Harry: Who are you?
Harry: What is your purpose in this film?
Harry: What’s that?
Harry: A door?
Harry: What about it?
Tom: *Opens it*