Week of March 6, 2005
Hermione: ‘You know… watching Jack Sparrow come to us by ship really puts a whole new spin on the saying ‘’Something Wicked This Way Comes”…’
The arriving party from Durmstrang was almost as pitiful as the welcoming party from Hogwarts.
Ron: So Dumbledore sent you out to meet the Durmstrang ship?
Hagrid: Tha’s righ’.
Hermione: But why are you throwing rocks at it?
Hagrid: Dumb’y’dor’s orders… *evil grin*
‘Oh, look! The Vikings are coming to town!’
Pirates: Yo ho! Yo, ho! A pirate’s life for me!
Hermione: I think I want to be a pirate.
Ron: We just go from one extreme to the next. Why – so you can set their captives free by knitting them hats?!
Little did Lord of the Rings fans realize that the Grey Havens were actually the grounds of Hogwarts.
Hagrid: ‘Today we’ll be studyin’ another dangerous creature – the pirate! Now, who wan’s ta touch it?!’
Hagrid: ‘”Loch Ness”? Boy, ya took a wrong turn! Ya need ter go back two lochs, take a right, go three lochs, then take a left. That’ll put yeh right. Oh, and tell Nessie hi from me!’
Jack Sparrow: Is there a hot girl around here?
Ron: *Thinks of Hermione* Yes!
Jack Sparrow: Is there a guy with some treasure around here?
Ron: *Thinks of Harry* Yes!
Jack Sparrow: Is there a really evil dude around here?
Ron: *Thinks of Malfoy* YES!
-Froggie and Geoggers
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were shocked to discover that, during the summer holidays, Hogwarts was used as a yacht club.
Hagrid: …And who the ruddy hell are you?
Jack: Captain Jack Sparrow, my slightly wet and large friend. Am I to understand there are mermaids around here…?
Hagrid: ‘It’s the Giant Squid’s new bath toy, see? The rubber ducky… er… got squashed.’
Johnny Depp returns to Hogwarts after losing the award for Best Actor again.
When you see death, you will see thestrals.
When you see an insane man whose beloved and dangerous creature is about to be killed, however, you will see small boats.
Ron: I didn’t think Hagrid could swim…?
Hermione: He… can’t…
Narrator: ‘And the award for ‘’Best Tragic Death of a Big Oaf Because He Chased After a Big, Wooden Thing with Sails” goes to…’
Hagrid: ‘Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Karkaroff and Viktor Krum…’
Man on Ship: ‘Anyone know where I can find a Taco Bell?’
One heartfelt question…
Ari: *Peering into the picture* I’m confused… are we looking at Pirates of the Caribbean, the Two Towers, or Mystic River?
Eric: All three, plus Walking with Dinosaurs; you’ll notice those lovely ferns to the left…
…and Maniacal March took on a whole new meaning.
Harry: Are we supposed to recognize that boat, or is it just some random ship?
Hermione: Don’t you know? It’s the H.M.S. Slanty. No matter where it sails, its reflection is always a little crooked!
Ron: ‘Unbelievable! The ending of Return of the King was so long that it ran over into our movie!’
Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid waved goodbye as Harry took Snape’s clothes and sailed off into the sunset.
Pirates of the Caribbean II: The Curse of the Black Sirius.
Pirates: ‘Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Buckbeak will soon be cream…’
Hermione, Ron, and Hagrid waved an emotional farewell to Rational, Logical February.
–Inspired by Eric’s Caption of June 20-26—
Hagrid: It’s a pirate!
Ron: It’s a drunk!
Hermione: No, it’s all of the above!
Ron: Wow, the lake sure is a lot bigger than I remembered. And how in the world did Jack Sparrow get here?
Hermione: Honestly, won’t you ever read ‘Hogwarts: A History’? The lake was enlarged in our third year so that Harry’s ride on Buckbeak would look cool!
Dude in Boat: ‘We must be crossing some kind of time warp! Back there is a Medieval castle, down there are two kids in modern clothes, there’s a cave man, and up ahead is a prehistoric rainforest!’
‘Brandon Ford of ‘’The Underground Lake” sets to prove his theory correct…’
Hermione: ‘I told you not to annoy Eric, Ron. Now he’s sent Vikings to destroy you in a caption…’
Even in the wizarding world, seeing pirate ships is not a good sign.
‘Honey, I shrunk the protagonists!’
Hermione: Ron! I forbid you to use the Floo Network ever again!
Hermione: Because, Ronald, I was telling you that we need to get brownie mix!
Ron: Oh! I thought you said ‘We need to cross the River Styx’…