Week of May 15, 2005
Since Hermione’s valiant efforts in her S.P.E.W. campaign have become so successful, the Hogwarts students are left with no choice but to catch their own dinner.
Ludo Bagman: ‘…However, the Merchieftaness informs us that Mr. Potter was the first to reach his hostages, and to complete the bonus task of finding Nemo!’
Dory: ‘Loooook… a baby speech bubble!’
And then, Harry realized that following Dory was more dangerous than following a hinkeypunk.
Harry was disappointed when, after following a glimpse of orange, he discovered that he had found Nemo… and not Ron.
Harry: Blub blub blubby!
Dory: ‘blub blub blubby’ …Teehee, you’re funny!
Harry: Where can I find the captives?
Dory: P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney!
Marlin: Remember what I told you?
Nemo: Watch out for strange boys who are half-fish thanks to the weird plant they just ate?
Marlin: I was going to say look both ways before crossing the current, but yours is true, too…
Dory: FINALLY! WE’RE IN A CAPTION PICTURE!
Marlin: Yeah, but for what? They’re probably just going to talk about how fish can’t lick their elbows either!
Harry: Hey, at least you’re not wearing Snape’s clothes…
Dan: ‘And I thought changing POA was bad.. Look what Mike Newell’s done to Hermione, Ron, and Cho!’
Marlin: Oh, no – a fish-eating merman!
Dory: Hey, look – a squishy!!!!
Harry: What is Nemo doing?
Marlin: I knew he was spending too much time on MuggleNet’s Caption Contest – he’s trying to lick his elbow!
Harry: SCORE! I found Nemo! Now all I have to do is find Waldo… how am I ever going to do that?
Dory: Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming…!
If we take the time to peer into Dory’s past, we will find out why she created her song ‘Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming’…
Still munching his Gillyweed, Harry catches up to the other Triwizard contestants in Transfigured form.
-Jake A. Ralphing
Harry Potter and Nemo’s Adventure: to find the most two smallest people to fit in Emerson’s suitcase.
Nemo, Marlin, and Dory are BACK…in ‘Finding Weasley’…
Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle wished they had never accepted those Fin-Fingers Biscuits from Fred and George.
You sat through ‘Freddie VS. Jason’…
You suffered through ‘Alien VS. Predator’…
Next summer, prepare yourself for the next joint franchise…
‘HARRY POTTER FINDS NEMO … AND FEEDS HIM TO THE GIANT SQUID’!
Happy faces at Pixar after $500 million takeover bid of Warner Brothers is successful.
‘…I shall call him Harry and he shall be mine and he shall be my Harry…’
Due to the lack of funding from Warner Bros, Chris Columbus had to resort to a pretty fishy deal with Pixar Animated Studios.
The results of different studios booking the same place on the same day…
My name’s Harry,
Skrewts are scary,
I’m swimming in the reef,
‘Cause of a Gillyweed leaf!
‘I’VE FOUND NEMO!!!’
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Voldemort frowned. His idea to send Potter to sleep with the fishes wasn’t exactly working out as planned.
Harry Potter and the Order of Fish.