Week of May 22, 2005
Harry: ‘…The Dursleys sure have taken an interest in Christmas since I left…’
After clearing out the doxies from Number 12 Grimmauld Place, The Order discover the firefly infestation.
-Jake A. Ralphing
Dumbledore regrets lending the Put-Outer to Fred and George Weasley.
Harry: *Reads sign* ‘Voldie’s Headquarters…’
Number 12 Grimmauld Place: Makes you wonder how Muggles can just walk straight past it…
The Optimist: I love these lights! They’re so pretty and bright! I just wanna hug them!!
The Pessimist: I hate these lights! They’re so bright and happy! The owner should be sued!
The Perfectionist: Oh my! That bulb over there! It’s blown! Hurry, someone change it!! Oh and that one over there, it’s too far to the right!
Chris: ‘I told them not to caption my house…’
Harry: ‘Mr. Columbus, come back! After you left, the movies have stunk!‘
‘I guess Uncle Vernon got the promotion he wanted…’
After figuring out the function of a rubber duck, Mr. Weasley got a raise.
Standard Apparating Accident 416: Arriving in the wrong place, in the wrong season, and into an alternate reality.
Harry, with the help of the Hogwarts ghosts, devised a plan that would introduce Dudley to the ghosts of Christmas past, present and yet to come.
After being forced to come home over Christmas Holidays, Harry realized exactly what the Dursleys would do if they found out about his fortune in Gringotts.
When Harry arrived back at No. 12 Grimmauld Place for Christmas, he realized exactly how bored Sirius had been!
*From inside 12 Grimmauld place*
Harry: ‘Sirius, don’t you think the Muggles might notice that there are fairies hovering around your house, even if it is invisible?
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
12 House-elves working
11 goblins mining
10 thestrals flying
9 death eaters killing
8 Muggles screaming
7 broomsticks flying
6th Harry Potter book
5 Lockhart fans…
4 Triwizard Contestants
3 evil Dementors
2 magic wands
And 1 golden snitch!
The Hogwarts choir presents: A Hogwarts Melody
‘Dashing through the snow, in a thestral-open sleigh, Over the lake we go, Shivering all the way! We see a rope clothes line, on it we see an ugly pair of graying underwear that we know belongs to Snape!’
Chorus: ‘Oh! Jingle Bells, Malfoy Smells, Hagrid’s got an itch, Ron is mad, Hermione’s sad, and Harry caught the Snitch!’
Lamp post: I can’t believe I got this part! 500 lamp posts tried, and I got it!
Dan: Umm… I don’t think this movie is called ‘The Lamp post and the Part it Got’…
Lamp post: Nag, nag, nag. That’s all you stars do, is nag!
Harry: ‘I wonder if this family has a boot-leg copy of Star Wars Episode III. Maybe they’ll let me borrow it!’
…And you never believed your parents when they said Christmas was right around the corner…
You shouldn’t have told my Dad where to get Christmas lights. This is what you get, and it’s only August. There’s even more on the inside. I think I’m going blind.
I’ll see you when you come visit.