Week of June 5, 2005
Harry: *Looking at green Dark Mark* …So Voldemort goes for Ireland too… right?
Entire Group: *Bursting into song and dance*
Can you see them? Old Navy’s new pants!
Grab a pair when you get the chance.
I got me some. We’re havin’ such fun;
Here at the Cup waking the family up!
Go get yourself some pants to share.
They’re seventies just like your ha-a-air!
–Continuation of Rusty S.’s caption last week—
Harry: *Struggling* Must…curse…Simon…Cowell!
Hermione: No, Harry! He’s not worth it!
Ron: We all think your scar is just fine!
–Inspired by M.J.’s caption last week–
Announcer: And now, the next Triwizard Tournament Task will be…Karaoke with Snape! Our judges will be Cornelius Fudge, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell!
Simon: *looking up* Oh, please…you call this a caption?
Ginny: ‘Fred, come back here! I’m not done with your facial yet!’
Harry: ‘Hermione, please let go of my arm – the fans are getting suspicious!’
Harry: Dear God! Look at the size of that spoiler!
Scenes from the original Woodstock.
Dan: ‘Quick! Hide behind me so the scene looks more dramatic and people won’t notice the obviously fake sky!’
*All three stop dead, eyes bulging in disbelief*
Ron: I don’t believe it – it’s John Kerry! Should we run?!
Hermione: What’s he doing abroad?
Harry: Either he’s realized his biggest supporters are the French or he’s promoting the waffle iron sales in Britain…
Though everyone else had decided to move on, Rupert, Dan and Emma were intent on getting that werewolf scene *exactly* right…
And once again, Rupert and Emma are forced to stand in the background in an attempt to make Dan look taller.
And now presenting the new show: DUMBLEDORE’S ANGELS
Harry: Guys, Look – it’s the Dark Mark!
Ron: Oh, I thought it was the Bat Signal…
The Weasleys were horrified when Death Eaters caused havoc at the ‘Shaggy from Scooby Doo Look-a-Like Competition’ they were attending…
Hermione: Harry! You almost died!
Harry: It could be worse! If I had been played by Haley Joel Osment like Stephen Spielberg wanted, I would have died three movies ago!
Hermione: Don’t do it, Harry!
Ron: Harry, don’t you know that what you’re about to do is dangerous?!
Harry: I don’t care, Ron! The ice cream guy gave me vanilla! I ordered chocolate!
Blue Sweater on Clothesline: I auditioned for the part of Harry’s shirt, and that red hussy got the part instead!
Red Shirt on Harry: Nyah nyah nyah!
Socks on Line: At least you’re in the shot – we’re behind this dang tent!
Ginny: *mutters* If Hermione doesn’t get her mitts of Harry within the next three seconds, I’m going to have to break out my voodoo doll…
Harry Potter and the Anti-Haircut League
Harry: Everything’s going to be alright. We just need to figure out what Jack Bauer, Tony Almeida, and Michelle Dessler would do, and in 24 hours everything will okay!