Week of July 3, 2005
Dumbledore and McGonagall: *Together, reciting* ‘Star light, star bright, first star we see tonight. We wish we may, we wish we might, have the wish we wish tonight. We wish for July 16th to hurry-up-and-get-here!’
‘Albus… I always knew you were groovy, but never would I have guessed that you actually knew Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds…’
McGonagall: Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?
Dumbledore: Ah, professor, I would trust Hagrid with my li- Well, okay, maybe I not… but I would trust him with my – hmm, not that either… but I would CERTAINLY trust him with – oh dear…
Dumbledore re-holstered his regular gizmo of choice and reached apprehensively into his robes for the Put-Outer 2000.
-Jake A. Ralphing
McGonagall: What do you think it is, Albus?
Dumbledore: Darn! I thought she would have forgotten by the end of term…
McGonagall: Who, what?
Dumbledore: It’s Tinkerbell… she bet me that Ireland would win and… I owe her 30 Galleons.
‘Honestly, Albus, couldn’t you have gotten us better seats for Live 8? We can barely see the stage!’
McGonagall: Look, Albus, a shooting star! Make a wish!
Dumbledore: I wish for a pair of nice socks!
McGonagall: Socks?! What about the downfall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named??
Dumbledore: ‘Darn, the motorcycle exploded with Hagrid and Harry on it…. Quick, go pinch another baby from that house over there so we’ll still have a story line!’
Dumbledore: That’s a bright star up there, it must be…
McGonagall: That’s not a star, Dumbledore, it’s a search light. It would seem that Halloween Adventure has come for the wigs that yourself and Lucius Malfoy stole…
Dumbledore: No! My darkest secret!
Dumbledore: Uranus is big tonight…
McGonagall: Merlin’s beard, Hagrid is going to crash! Harry is going to die!
Dumbledore: Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak!
McGonagall: Does that have ANYTHING to do with the current situation?!
Dumbledore: No, but I needed to catch you off guard. You’re too tense, McGonagall… I suggest some herbal tea and a bubble bath…
Dumbledore: And here comes Hagrid with Harry…
Hagrid: *Lands* Hello!
Dumbledore: I trust you had a safe flight, Hagrid?
Hagrid: Yep! Had a bit of a rough spot over London – dropped ‘Arry on his head, poor little bludger…
Dumbledore: Excuse me?
Hagrid: I shouldn’t’ve told yeh that…
Dumbledore: Don’t go towards the light, Professor! It’s too dangerous!
McGonagall: Albus, I turn into a cat… not a bug.
McGonagall: What’s that, Albus?
Dumbledore: Suspense personified, Professor…
Dumbledore and McGonagall watch eagerly as the original cinematic good witch, Glinda, draws ever nearer.
Dumbledore: ‘The moon is ridiculously bright tonight…’
Dumbledore: You know, Minerva, the moonlight makes you look 20 years younger…
McGonagall: Oh Albus….
Dumbledore: ‘Minerva, I don’t suppose you’ve ever noticed how the Caption Scroller always ends with ”Enjoy!”?…’
Dumbledore: ‘I’m quite sorry, Tinkerbell, but Captain Hook is going by ”Lucius” now…’
McGonagall: That white hat and that white smoke can only mean one thing, Albus… they think you’re the next Pope.
Albus: Yes Minerva, it appears that the world is safe once again.
Minerva: You mean, Lord Voldemort has finally been defeated?
Albus: Oh, no no no, he’s still running around somewhere, but it looks like Bruce Willis succeeded in destroying that asteroid the Muggle world was so concerned with…
Harry: Professor Dumbledore, is that the moon up there?
Dumbledore: Nope, I believe that it is David Beckham’s penalty shot from Euro2004…
Dumbledore: It would appear that we have a visitor, Minerva…
McGonagall: Yes, who could it be? *Watches the light approach*
Tinkerbell: Wendy lady! News from Neverland!
Dumbledore: It would also appear that the said visitor comes from a different movie entirely…
Dumbledore: It’s beautiful, isn’t it, Minerva?
McGonagall: Yes, Albus…
Jiminy Cricket: *Starts to sing* Whennn youu wiiish upon a staaar…
McGonagall: Er, Albus… May I?
Dumbledore: Yes, Minerva… … …get’im.
*Quiet morphing sound, then CHIRP*