Week of July 24, 2005
Harry: Hey guys, d’you think this moment will be alluded to five books from now when I try to get you guys not to come with me on a dangerous quest?
Ron and Hermione: Naah…
*Ten minutes before last week’s picture*
Harry: ‘Come on, Hermione! What’s the worst that could happen if we jump down there?!’
Harry: Yeah, there’s definitely a boggart down there… Ron, what do you see, a spider?
Ron: No, it’s Lavendar – and she’s calling me ‘Won-Won’!
Hermione: Mine’s Lavender… calling Ron ‘Won-Won’… What about yours, Harry?
Harry: Also Lavendar… yep, I guess we all hate her.
Harry: ‘If you two don’t stop fighting I’m locking you down there!’
Harry: This is the only place I could find…
Ron: Are you sure, mate?
Hermione: It’s filthy!
Harry: Well where else are you two going to be able to snog safely and not worry about H/Hr shippers getting you?!
–Inspired by Callie’s caption last week—
Harry: ‘I’ll go first. If a spoiler is down there, I’ll tell you guys. Then, go straight to the owlery and write to Dumbledore. Tell him that we’ve got a loose spoiler…’
Harry: ‘Okay, so who wants to put themselves in mortal danger first?’
Ron: So… how long do we have to look down this hole?
Harry: I don’t know, but the script says to stay here until something bad happens.
Ron: …one… two… three… four… five…
Fluffy: BARK! BARK! BARK!
Harry: I’m not going down there first!
Ron: …I’ll bet you anything you can’t lick your elbow, Harry!
Harry: *Tries to lick elbow, loses balance, and falls through trapdoor*
Ron: Ha! It always works!
–Continuation of Rachel F.’s caption last week—
Harry: Thanks for helping us look for Mackenzie, Hermione…
Hermione: But you’re sure she could have made it past Fluffy alright?
Ron: …We’re all going to die in the next book… aren’t we…?
Hermione: I know we must get revenge on Snape for Dumbledore… but locking him in a pit with Fluffy and nothing to make music seems kind of mean.
Ron: Are you crazy, he’ll have to sing for ages!
Hermione: No – I meant to the other students, Ron – Snape’s singing is TERRIBLE!
‘Really, the plumbing here is so Medieval!’
Harry: Okay. I’ll go down first, and then you two follow.
Hermione: But, Harry, how are we going to get back out of the trapdoor?
Ron: Hermione, Hermione…
Harry: Heroes never think of how they get out of a dangerous situation – that’s the magic of film!
Harry: ‘Okay – if I don’t come back in five minutes, just… wait… longer…’
Ron: What an incredible smell we’ve discovered!
Harry: What do you suppose is down there?!
Hermione: We’re in a room that’s been occupied by a giant, three-headed dog for the past eight months without having been let out once, AND the floor is COMPLETELY clean! Just GUESS what’s down there!
Harry and Ron: …
Harry: Ron, what do you suppose will happen once we go down through this trap door?
Ron: Harry, you know perfectly well that I failed my Divination O.W.L.!
Harry: Hermione, why don’t you go first?
Hermione: Because I’ll get killed! Or worse – expelled!
Ron: *Whispers* On the count of three, push her…
Hermione: Oh, look, a plot hole…
Ron and Harry: …
Hermione: Watch out, there’s an open trapdoor in the floor!
Ron: Good thing you’re wearing those stockings, Hermione, or we wouldn’t be able to see anything!
Harry: Wow… Hermione’s beautiful…
Ron: Hands off, sucker, she’s mine – J.K. Rowling said so!
‘…And now for the synchronized diving, starting with Potter, Granger and Weasley, who will be attempting a triple backflip with pike, while simultaneously destroying a Devil’s Snare. Big applause, please.’
Harry: ‘Look at my display of greatness as you two point your right knee upwards, while I point with my left! HOO! HAH!’
Harry: Hurry, Ron! She’ll never find you in here!
Lavendar: *From distance* Won-Won? Where did you go?
Voice: *From inside trap-door* Simon says ‘squat like a frog.’ Croak like a frog!
Harry: *Starts to croak*
Voice: Uh-uh, Simon didn’t say! You’re out!
Harry: *Mumbles* Stupidest task I ever heard of… Snape can have the Stone for all I care!
Harry: Hey, Hermione, thanks for helping me throw McClaggen to the Devil’s Snare…
McClaggen: *Shouting up* Hey, Harry, your aim’s a little off! You should have thrown me exactly 6 inches to the left if you wanted me to experience the most pain!
Harry: I can’t believe you dropped your wand in the Devil’s Snare, Hermione!
Hermione: Well instead of yelling at me for it, one of you could be chivalrous and go get it back!
Hermione: ‘Okay, boys, I’ll admit it. Sometimes a simple hole in the ground will catch the bad guys…’
Hermione: July 24th, 2005. After months upon months of searching, I and my sidekicks have finally found the missing speech bubbles.
Harry and Ron: ‘Sidekicks’?!
Harry: So, who wants to jump first?
Ron: Where’s Lockhart when you need him?
–Inspired by Ruthjulia’s caption in June–
Harry: ‘So a Muggle-born, a blood traitor, and the Chosen One jump into a trap…’
Harry: ‘Wait here… I’m going back for my giant lantern…’
A scene from the new film ‘Crouching Wizards, Hidden Tunnel’
From this scene, we can say with great confidence that the title of book 7 will be Harry Potter and the 100 Meter Dash
Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Plan
Harry: Wow Hermione, how are you doing that?
Hermione: If I concentrate really hard, I can move this bit of hair with the power of my mind alone!
Ron: Its true Harry, she did it with mine…
Harry: ‘…and that’s why Malfyrtle is SO the new Bennifer!’
Harry: Who are all those people down there?
Hermione: Oh, them? They’re just the Remus/Sirius shippers. Ever since HBP, they’ve been gathering underground to discuss how the Remus/Tonks part is just a typo. Poor things…
Ron: *To Harry* I bet she’ll be knitting them hats soon.
Harry: ‘Look, I’ve found a way to join Sirius in the afterlife! Getting killed by a hole in the floor isn’t any more ridiculous than getting killed by curtains, is it?!’
Music…’Don’t go into that….TRAPDOOR!’
Harry: Are you SURE you guys have finished Half-Blood Prince?
Ron & Hermione: YES Harry!
Harry: Than we shall descend into the MuggleNet Chat Rooms!
How many idiots does it take to say ‘lumos’?
Hermione: What do you think’s in there?
Harry: All the failed attempts at making a Harry Potter fan website.
After a long day of classes, Ron, Hermione, and Harry ended their day with a rousing chorus of ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.’
Harry: What do you think is down there?
Hermione: Might be spiders…
Ron: *whimpering* I don’t like spiders.
Hermione: Be quiet, Ron. It might be Book Seven…
Harry: No… *squints* it’s a bottle of Fanta.
Fanta Girls: *Singing* Fanta, Fanta, don’t you want a Fanta, Fanta.
Ron- *Begins to cry* They’re worse then spiders!
Harry: *Staring through the trapdoor*
Hermione: So… we were wrong about the trapdoor after all… it wasn’t the Philosopher’s Stone that they’ve been hiding down here. It was -
Ron: -Snape’s bobblehead collection?!
Trio: *Outside the room, with apprehensive looks on their faces* Okay… let’s go…
Harry: *Opens chamber door and begins singing to Fluffy* Daaaay!
Ron: *Crawls through* Me say daay, me say daay, me say day me-say-day -
Hermione: -Me-say-daaaaaay-o….. *Edges closer*
Harry: *Tip-toes to the trapdoor* Daylight comin’ me wan’ go home….
Ron: *Opens trapdoor* Six foot, seven foot, eight foot… …JUMP!
Trio: *All jump*