Week of August 7, 2005
Hermione had to take desperate measures when she found herself struggling on Chameleon Thursday.
Hermione: Sir Nicholas, the ornately patterned mahogany looks dashing against your pale complexion!
Sir Nicholas: Why, THANK you, Hermione!
Nick: ‘Hello there, miss! I am the Ghost Who Says… ”Ni”!’
Shippers: Aha! Fresh meat!
Filch: *To Mrs. Norris* Cover your eyes, my sweet! This will get ugly!
-Mary Anne and Laura
Nearly-Headless Nick: Is it just me, or do the styles of Hogwarts robes differ in every scene?
Hermione: That’s rich, coming from a ghost who’s so poofy he looks like he’s wearing ten layers of blankets!
Kreacher: *Walking past* Oh, look who it is. The filthy Mudblood is talking to the nearly-headless apparition, while the worthless Squib sulks with his skeletal cat. Oh, if Kreacher’s mistress could see his company now, oh how she’d moan….
Hermione: Hello, Sir Nicholas! Feeling okay?
Nicholas: Why yes, that mandrake draught was quite fine!
Hermione: But how did you drink it?
Nick: Erm… er… why don’t you… erm… look for Harry and… er… Ron?
Emma Watson: Funny, I don’t remember the books saying anything about the great hall doors being made out of gold…!
Ghost: Yeah, and I don’t remember the books mentioning that I greet you first after you’re revived from petrification… yet here we are!
–Inspired by T.B.’s caption last week–
Nearly Headless Nick: Smashing game Miss Granger, I don’t know we would have played if it weren’t for your bright tights!
–Also inspired by T.B.’s caption last week–
Hermione: It’s all right, Sir Nicholas; I’ll lend you my tights and your legs will be brighter than ever!
Nick: Have you heard, Hermione? Neville Longbottom just walked in on Filch and Madam Pince snogging…in a broom closet!
Hermione: *Gasps* Harry was right!
Filch: *Covers Mrs. Norris’ ears* Don’t listen, my dear! It’s not true – I swear!
Hermione: ‘Thanks so much, Nick, for recommending me to your hairstylist – I just love my new do!’
Hermione: *Pokes her head around the corner*
Nick: Ah, Hermione, just the person I wanted to see! I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you!
Hermione: You… you are?
Nick: Yes! With all those other young females out there doing nothing but showing off their, *ahem* assets, it is truly impeccable that you stray from the crowd and keep your dignity by always remaining fully robed. And for that, I say ‘bravo’, Hermione! Bravo!
Hermione: …Right… *Pulls robes tighter over bikini and steps out from behind the wall* Thank you, Nick!
Nick: I am the great and powerful Oz!
Hermione: Uh, is that Mr. Filch back there?
Nick: Pay no attention to the man behind the door!
So a Squib, a Mudblood, and a dead guy walk into the Great Hall…
–Inspired by Chiri and Eric’s captions–
Hermione: Why so glum Sir Nicholas? You should be glad we’re no longer petrified!
Nick: *Mumbling* It’s my turn this week to hide Professor Snape’s bobblehead collection…
–Also a continuation from Chiri’s caption–
Sir Nicholas: Did you hear? Oliver Wood won Snape’s bobblehead collection!
Hermione: What?! But I wanted them!
Filch: Then you should have gotten a bigger staff than Biggerstaff! *Sniggers*
Nearly Headless Nick: Welcome back, Miss Granger! I haven’t seen you in a while, were you Petrified as well?
Hermione: No, actually… see, I was just busy reading the caption scroller…
Nick: Lovely to see you again, Miss Watson! Off to shoot another scene?
Emma: Yep! I’m supposed to hug Harry and uncomfortably shake Ron’s hand, but for some reason, the director keeps referring to it as the ‘anvil-sized hint’ scene…
Proof that you can be talked to death.
Nearly Headless Nick: Why, Hermione! So good to see you!
Hermione: Great to see you too, Sir Nicholas…
Filch: *Angrily, thinking* You know, Mrs. Norris was Petrified too! But, no, everyone’s paying attention to the students!
Hermione: Guess what I just found out, Sir Nicholas? It’s the most amazing thing!
Hermione: If you click on the picture on the Caption Contest home page, it gets bigger!
Filch: *Thinking* I didn’t know that. That is cool.
Hermione/Nick/Filch Love Triangle Shippers: YAY!
Eric: Really! I thought HBP meant I wouldn’t have to deal with this!
HOGWARTS ACTION FIGURES:
There’s Floaty Nick,
And Invisible Kitty!
COLLECT ALL FOUR!
Hermione: It feels so great to be unpetrified! It’s like I came back from the dead!
Sir Nicholas: *Gasps* Tactless! *floats away*
‘Excuse me, sir, are you the imprint of a departed soul?’
Sir Nick: You look beautiful today, Miss Granger!
Hermione: Why, thank you, you look great too!
Filch: *Whispers to Miss Norris* Now, my pretty, go find Professor Snape and tell him to open the champagne; our ships have sailed!