Week of October 30, 2005
Moody: Who are you suppose to be?
Ben: I TOLD you no one would know who you are. Look at that, even McGonagall looks like she’s going to faint.
Harry: *Dressed up as Andrew* Darn…
Maxime: *Gasp* There are 7 people in the shot!
Snape: What does that matter?
Maxime: The first person to see this picture is doomed to write an editorial comparing us to the seven HP books!
Eric: Hmm… Interesting…
Newell: Well, the fifth Harry Potter movie didn’t work out as planned… so we’re doing a wizard version of Snow White instead. Moody is now Grumpy.
Newell: Dumbledore, you are now Doc.
Newell: Madame Maxime is now sleepy.
Newell: Crouch is now Sneezy.
Newell: Igor is now Dopey.
Igor: Oh why did I leave the dark lord?!
Newell: And McGonagall is now bashful.
McGonagall: Oh gosh, Mike…*blushes*
Newell: Nevermind, I see this doesn’t quite work out. Oh dear…this leaves Snape to be Happy…
Newell: ‘Cut! People, the tennis ball you’re supposed to be staring at is over here! The audience doesn’t want to see Karkaroff giving death stares to the film caterer, or Madame Maxime going cross-eyed!’
Shrunken Head from the Knight Bus: ‘Hey guys, guys, why the long faces, eh?! *Bursts out laughing* Ha ha ha ha! Why the… ha ha, long…. Get it? Why the long… *Everyone else stares; the shrunken head stops laughing* Oh, never mind!’
Don’t you hate it when you say something crazy and right as you say it the room goes quiet and everyone looks at you?
The reactions of the Hogwarts staff upon seeing Dumbledore shake and yell at Harry in the movie with a ferocity that rivaled Vernon Dursley’s.
The Hogwarts staff finally got the dance ‘Don’t Turn Your Back on Me, Baby’ down, and all are quite excited for when they will perform it – at the Yule Ball.
Dumbledore: ‘Hold still everyone, they need to take our picture for the box cover of ”Harry Potter Clue: Teachers’ Edition”…’
The new cast list for Clue.
Albus Dumbledore – Professor Plum
Severus Snape – Mr. Green
Madame Olympe Maxime – Mrs. Peacock
Igor Karkaroff – Miss Scarlet
Alastor ‘MadEye’ Moody – Col. Mustard
Minerva McGonagall – Mrs. White
Barty Crouch – The Cop
Moody: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Crouch: To save his wreck of a career in politics?
Karkaroff: Power! Power! The chicken wanted power!
Maxime: Perhaps the sky was falling. You know, if eet did, eet vould hit me first…
Dumbledore: Is it truly necessary to question the motivations of a common fowl? Perhaps we should contemplate the philosophical implications of such a puzzle…
Snape: To die… cold, friendless, and alone. Only to have the world cheer mightily at his wretched demise.
Everyone: … *Blink and murmur nervously*
McGonagall: Er…Severus, dear, have you ever considered counseling?
All Teachers: *Singing* ‘The Hogwarts Family! Dun-dun-dun dun! *snap, snap* Dun-dun-dun dun!’
Since their agents booked them on the next Celebrity Poker Showdown, the professors are busy practicing their bluffing faces.
In later years, the Weird Sisters became better known as the Weird Grandmothers.
As you can plainly see from the faces in this picture, You-No-Poo really works.
All of the staff were annoyed when the students found out about the ’30-and-over only’ game of Duck, Duck, Goose.
Photographer: Ok everyone, smile and say ‘butterbeer’! …No, really, smile! …Okay, how can I take this portrait if no one smiles?!
Snape: We ARE smiling!
Dumbledore: I knew we should have skipped that last Botox party…
So two Death Eaters, a cat, a Half-Giant, an Ex-Auror, a 148 year old headmaster, and the father of a Death Eater arrive on the wrong set. Lost: The 7th Season…
Hyperactive Fan: *In the background, jumping up and down* ‘Oh my god, I’m like, you’re biggest fan, and I like, snuck on set just to see you, so can I like, have and autograph. PLEASE?!?!’
Harry: ‘Ow, my temporal lobe hurts! So many people trying to do Occlumency on me—and all at once!’
McGonagall: WHAT is everyone looking at?!
Dumbledore: Shhhh!!! You’ll disturb the staring contest between us and the readers of MuggleNet!
Colin Creevy: Is – is this a bad time to talk to Professor McGonogall?
All the rest: Yes!
The entire Hogwarts staff gaped in surprise as they witnessed the house elves’ annual ‘Commando Cooking Celebration.’
*Singing to ‘This is Halloween’ from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas*
Snape: I am the one in grunting in the dungeon;