Week of November 27, 2005
Miranda Richardson: So, Robert, have they offered you a contract for Order of the Phoenix yet?
Robert Pattinson: …
Rita: *Thinking* Well, since that ‘Harry/Hermione’ story didn’t work out…
Cedric: *To himself* Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Why isn’t it working?! …I should have worked harder on nonverbal spells…
Harry: So you’re Professor Lupin’s mustache’s mother!
Rita: What was that, dear?
Harry: Sorry, I was talking to your collar…
Rita: Cedric, you don’t mind if I use a quick quotes quill do you?
*Interview goes on for three hours*
Rita: Okay, I think I’ve just run out of *looks at notepad* …paper… *storms out of the room*
Cedric: *Picks up notepad and flips through the pages and laughs*
Cedric: It’s been playing tic-tac-toe with itself the whole time!
‘You’ve both been very naughty boys! Now go to my room!’
Rita: ‘Well, I decided that everything in this picture should be green seeing how it’s the color of the curse that kills… *cough, cough* it’s the color of good luck!’
Rita- Oh, look! If we stand like this we look like the Verizon Wireless bars!
Harry and Cedric- …
Wizalular: Raising the Bar
Harry: *Thinking* Maybe I should give K’lyssa a nice metal-green jacket with an interesting collar for her birthday…
Cedric: *Has just learned Legilimency* Hey! That was my idea!
Rita: Well, here I am standing next to the Boy Who Lived, and the Boy Who… well, I won’t spoil it for you.
Rita: …..and then I said, ‘No, you can’t see my coconuts, Mr. Fudge!’
Cedric: You never!
Harry: Get away!
Rita: No, it’s true, I own a fruit stall on the market! I have the biggest coconuts in Diagon Alley, you know!
Most clothing can be ‘measured’ by thread-count. No, this baby is measured in watts.
Rita: Now if we all just work together, dearies, we can WIN this 6-legged race!
Rita Skeeter: ‘Tell me, boys – have you ever seen Y Tu Mama Tambien?‘
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Uh, excuse me Mr. Newell….but Alfonso Cuaron already made a movie about two teenage boys and an older woman…’
Dan: Man, can’t I be taller than anyone in this movie?!
Rita: Quite an age difference in the tournament this year; 12 and 19…
Harry: I’m 14.
-Sam and Mickey
After being forced by Hermione to give up journalism, Rita Skeeter had to settle for a less prestigious job as one of Santa’s helpers.
Rita Skeeter: I’m here to find out what makes a champion tick!
Harry and Cedric: *In unison* Cho Chang!
Rita: well well well, it seems like trading my soul for the-ability-to-make-teenage-boys-fall-madly-in -love-with-me-to-the-point-that-they-turn-to-stone was well worth it…….i think ill take the tall one….
Cedric: So Rita, I’ve heard you can turn into a beetle. Can you sing ‘Yesterday’ or ‘Hey Jude’ for me?
Harry: You’re not very bright, are you Cedric?
Cedric: Ma’am, I know you’re a reporter, but is ‘boxers or briefs?’ really a valid question for the Triwizard Tournament article?