Week of January 8, 2006
Harry: My scar, it’s bothering me again!
Hermione: Well, sometimes that happens after you get burned with a toasted marshmallow, Harry…
Another Director despairs as the trio yet again fail to watch the same tennis ball.
Hermione: Why are you staring into the fire, Harry?
Harry: They said ‘Dark and difficult times lie ahead,’ so I thought if I stay near the fire I’ll only have to deal with difficult times.
Ron: Yeah, like third degree burns…
…And we’re back! After much diliberation, these are the final three competitors of the Pajama Face-Off! They can be seen here nervously awaiting The Pillow Fight Results…
Harry: ‘Is it just me, or are the directors trying to be more and more artsy as we get older?’
Harry Potter & the Forgotten Cable Bill
Hermione: Viktor Krum is one of the most amazing people i’ve met in my life! He’s romantic, outspoken, caring, and intellegent. Oh Harry, I bet HE’S got this egg case already cracked!
Ron: Oh, SOMETHING’S cracked, all right…
Harry: It’s not fair , why can’t our fires have dancing fauns and dragons in them, like they do in the Chronicles of Narnia?
Ron: What are you two doing?
Harry: Well, we just saw Chronicles of Narnia, so we figured if we stare in the fire long enough we’ll see the Gryffindore Lion.
Hermione: Or a Jesus figure cleverly masked as a wise lion, we’re not too picky.
Harry: ‘I just don’t understand it, Hermione; if the common room is really this small, how on earth do we have huge parties with 250 students in it?’
Ron: I dunno why I was so excited about a campfire in Hogwarts. Muggles can be pathetic at entertaining themselves.
Hermione: Yeah, and the s’mores that you made out of chocolate frogs and cockroach clusters are beginning to settle in my stomach!
The Cub Scouts have a fireside sing-along:
Harry: We’re going on an evil wizard hunt!
Trio: Going on an evil wizard hunt!
Harry: I’m not afraid!
Trio: We’re not afraid!
Harry: I’ve got a wand!
Trio: He’s got a wand!
Hermione: Don’t look now, but, that green pillow was placed there by the slytherins. It’s a surveillance pillow.
Black Rat by Fireplace: *on phone* My boss is staring at me right now.
Harry: *Glares at rat*
Rat: I gotta get off the phone… Do you have any advice for me, like – How to quit my job, maybe?
Harry: *Keeps glaring*
Rat: I’m gonna go quit – I’ll see you guys in half an hour, alright?
And somewhere out there, some poor slash fan is frantically trying to come up with a matching fanfiction to this.
Sirius: I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
Sirius:Oops, sorry. Wrong fire.
Harry & Ron:….!