Week of February 26, 2006
Cedric: Harry, take my body back to my parents.
Harry: Aren’t you supposed to wait until you’re dead before you say that?
Cedric: Yes, but… I really hate to procrastinate.
…and as King Kong snatched apparating Death Eaters out of the air, Harry realized that Maniacal March had its perks.
Harry thought he was a living a normal life… until he saw the spycams.
Harry: *Looks around graveyard… and down at his shirt* ‘OMG, i’m wearing a red shirt!’
Voldemort: And now Potter, you shall DIE!!!
Harry: Oh come on, what did I ever do to deserve this?
Voldemort: Fool! Your wardrobe is your mistake! Star Trek uniforms are so LAST Maniacal March!
Harry: Come on, Voldemort, don’t be such a sore loser. The official rules of Ghost in the Graveyard CLEARLY state that once I make it to your father’s grave, I win the game!
Tom Marvolo Riddle. May his soul rest in piece(s).
Harry: *Looks on in amazement at the Death Eater’s new ceremonial chant*
Death Eaters: We kill, we cheat, the muggles we like to beat, you hate us ‘cuz we kill you, but we don’t like you either, we’re Death Eaters!
Voldemort: *To DE’s* ‘You see, you have to nail them while they’re watching the dots on the news scroller… Get’s em every time!’
Dan: *Deep into his role as Harry Potter* Riddle! oh –
*ACDC’s ‘Back in Black’ erupts from off-stage*
Dan: *Fumes* RUPERT! I know you’re into the whole ‘vintage’ style and everthing, don’t think I haven’t noticed, the hair, the shoes, the clothes, that MUSIC! But it just isn’t working for you….so STOP IT!
Rupert: *Flips hair* Pfft. what do you know? Who’s got the fan girls, buddy? who’s got em? *Pulls out compact mirror* Mmm… that’s right… oh yeah…
Oh fiddy-dee diddle,
Find me a Riddle
That isn’t a riddle at all.
How many riddles
Can a Riddle riddle out,
Before they give the good Sphinx a call?
No potions or spiders
Are what this riddle is,
This Riddle’s no riddle I swear.
Before you get bored,
Answer this riddle:
Which Riddle is named the ‘Dark Lord’?
‘Hey, Voldie, RIDDLE me this!’
Harry: Is… Is this the future? Have I defeated Voldemort?
Random Person: *Scoff* No, this is just what happens when the set designer doesn’t read the books…
The newest popular prank among young wizards: Changing the dates on tombstones!
Harry: ‘So this is what the Sphinx meant when she said ‘three dead riddles’…’
–Inspired by Zonko’s caption last week–
Statue: *Pokes Harry on the shoulder*
Harry: *Whips around, and sees no one*
Statue: *Pokes again*
Harry: *Turns around again, beginning to think he is going crazy*
Statue: The picture frame and I just love these games!
Harry: ‘…Stupid MapQuest…’
Harry: YESSS I DID IT…THEIR ARE 150 PERIODS IN THE MANATICAL MARCH SCROLLER!
Voldemort: All of you stand back, he’s mine to finish and mine alone.
Lucious: Oh, come on! We all know that never works out!
Dan: Boy, am I glad they changed the error on the tombstone. It’s good to know that the people at Warner Bros. are being professional. *Looks more closely at tombstone, reads out loud* ‘For a good time, call Moaning Myrtle!’ What?@ OH that’s really mature, guys…
Oh, so now we are resorting to ripping off ‘The Sound of Music’?
Do… a Dan, a bright red Dan.
Re… a Really scary hand.
Mi… the one who peed his pants.
Fa… how Far i need to run.
So… Voldy’s back from the dead.
Ti… shoulda listened to what the Tea leaves said.
That will bring… us… back… to… Do!