Week of March 26, 2006
Harry: I wish I had a wand.
Neville: I wish I had a plant.
Ron: I wish I didn’t have stupid ears.
Hermione: I wish I had a book instead of this freakin’ basket…
Ron/Lion: ‘THIS is what happens when you listen to my brothers when they say, ”Here, eat this!”…’
Why we’re glad Jo grew up in the UK…
The Cowardly Lion: Maybe if I had some courage, when I asked Fleur out she would have said yes…
Dorothy: Doubtful, But there’s no place like library, there’s no place like library, there’s no place like library.
The Tinman: Now I know why Cho likes someone else; I just have no heart!
Scarecrow: If I only had a brain, maybe I could remember the password to get into the common room…
Voice: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
JK Rowling finally realeases the title of the highly anticipated 7th book… ‘Harry Potter and the Lollipop Guild’.
-Kristen with a ‘K’
Harry: So if we’re the characters from the Wizard of Oz, then who’s Toto?
Neville: I bet it’s probably Crookshanks, or Hedwig, or Fang.
Hermione: Well, let’s see… *opens basket* FLUFFY?
Director: Rupert! You’re the Cowardly Lion, not the Sullen Lion…
Rupert: You’d be sullen to if you had to wear this…
Hermione: We’re supposed to wait here for Dumbledore to owl us our instructions before doing anything. Look, here comes the bird now!
*The black owl flies towards the group, then spots Neville and flies away.*
Harry: *Aggressively* You just had to be a scare-owl!
Dorothy (Hermione): *Sings* Oh, we’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful–
Harry: Uh…Hermione. I’m a wizard.
Ron: Me too.
Neville: And me.
Hermione: Yes, well….
*Excitedly* ‘Does this mean we get to melt Umbridge?!’
Ron: *Thinking* I just KNEW that eating more of those lion’s roar candies would cause adverse side effects…
‘The Slytherins are going to pay for that!’
…And now, A peek inside Neville’s subconscious…
…And hundreds of people send in captions that say,
All: ‘There’s no place like Hogwarts, there’s no place like Hogwarts, there’s no place like Hogwarts…’
Neville: ‘Oh my God, is that how I’ll look after finishing school?!’
Hermione: We’re off to see the Wizard!
Ron: Why do we have to dress up EVERY TIME Dumbledore wants to see us in his office?!
Hermione: Oh, doing these movie character captions is so much fun!
Harry: You’re not the one covered in silver paint…
Neville: *Thinking* Finally I’ve heard of someone with less brains that me. Thank you, scarecrow!
Ron: *Grumbles* I’m just a cowardly lion. *Thinks* Wait…. Lions have claws… …WATCH OUT, KRUM, HERE I COME!
Wow, it fits! Harry can’t tell emotions, Neville isn’t so smart, Ron needs to pluck up the courage, and Hermione is the smart one.
Tune in next week to hear Voldemort’s rendition of: ‘If I Only Had A Soul’
Ron: ‘Hermione, I know you’re good at Transfiguration, but you don’t have to rub it in!’
-John and Emily
Harry: ‘Dumbledore said, ”In the end, it mattered not that you could not close your mind. It was your HEART that saved you.” So, if that’s true, then why am I the Tin Man?!
Ron: *Thinking* I wish I had the ax…I would be able to HURT the person who did this week’s picture…
All: Quidditch and cauldrons and spells…
Hermione: OH MY!!!
All: Goblins and ghouls and ghosts…
Hermione: OH MY!!! Tests and potions and exams…
Harry, Ron, and Neville: OH NO!!!
The results of Warner Bros. trying to make Harry hipper to the anime-loving Japanese, Hermione hipper with the Puritans, Ron hipper with the long-haired teens, and Neville with the French.
Rupert: I would rather be anywhere but here…..
Matthew: Hey, would you like to be covered in HAY?
Dan: Look on the bright side, at least Emma is now from Kansas, where Ben Schoen is from!
Emma: *Groans* There’s no place like home!
Here’s what happens when Michael Goldenberg and David Yates read MuggleNet editorials rather than Order of the Phoenix.
The members of M.U.N.C.H.K.I.N.S. – the Magical United Nations Chapter of Hogwarts Kids In New Situations – pose for thier annual photo.
Harry: ‘It’s okay that you’re afraid, Ron; just keep asking yourself: ”What would Jack Bauer do?”!’
Ron: *Sighs* ‘This is typecasting on so many levels…’
Ron: *Thinking* I can’t believe Hermione convinced us to perform this stupid play for the ‘poor, over-worked’ house-elves…
Hermione: Hey, Ron, you don’t look so good… are you alright?
Ron: … …Hairball…
Whilst in Kansas, Ben’s fan club adopted some disguises so that they wouldn’t stand out…
ALL: ‘We’re off to see the Pillar – the Wonderful Pillar of Storgé!’
You know… these 4 famous characters actually kind of represent the 4 houses. Ravenclaw is represented by miss perfect, Hufflepuff is represented by the guy who doesn’t have a brain, and we all already know that the lion represents Gryffindor. As for the tin man representing Slytherin… well… he doesn’t have a heart either.
…And as Harry, Hermione and Neville are occupied with various activities, the small, furry mammal on Lupin’s upper lip reveals itself as a carnivore and devours Ron entirely.
Ron: *Indignantly* ‘My talent agent is worse than John O’Hurley’s!’
When Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville followed Sirius through the Veil, they wound up ‘somewhere over the rainbow’.
Ron puts on his angry face after losing a catfight with Crookshanks…
All: If I only had…
Harry: A break…
Hermione: A life…
Neville: A brain..
Ron: Some sense…
Voldemort: A soul…
Harry: I’m guessing the Wicked Witch of the West will be Umbridge, the Wizard will be Dumbledore and the Good Witch Glinda will be McGonagall…
Ron: You might wanna re-think that last one, mate…