Week of April 16, 2006
Since all the boys had grown long hair for GoF, Fred decided it was time to start sniffing for the best type of shampoo…
Fred and George’s trip to Madame Tassauds in the smartest witch section.
Hermione has one of those ‘Angel&Devil on the Shoulder’ moments…
Fred: Maybe if I keep hiding behind Hermione, George won’t see me…
George: Hermione, have you seen Fred?
Hermione: *Thinking* Not again…why am I always used for hide and seek?! *Frowns* If you don’t leave me alone, BOTH of you, I’m going to throw the dictionary I’m reading at your oversized craniums…. THEN we’ll see who tries to use me as a hiding place!!!
Hermione calmly demonstrated to Fred & George Weasley that a well-placed and precisely-handled set of Muggle pliers are more grieviously painful then any Unforgivable Curse.
Fred: *To Hermione* You know, if you listen really carefully, you can hear the ocean!
Hermione: All I can hear is George trying to blow in my ear. You are so immature!
Fred: Hmmm… definately an air of Kate Moss about her…
George: No, she’s isn’t beautiful… just pretty by a normal yardstick-
Fred: Yardstick? British, here.
George: Well, I don’t know the conversion-
Fred: At any rate, she’s good looking-
Hermione: Why don’t you two go and marry Simon Walters?
Fred: Does he look like Kate Moss?!
Hermione: *Thinking* Which one should I slap first?
George: A Pinch and a squeeze and a tropical breeze.
Fred: *Makes blowing noises*
Fred and George had gone too far when they turned the whole great hall blue and sang ‘Blue Christmas’ to all the girls around.
Fred: YES!!! BLIMEY GEORGE, IT WORKED!!!!
Neville: What worked?
George: We gave Hermione one of our enchanted-frozen-sleep-pills!!
Neville: Cool! How do you un-freeze her?
When Dr. Seuss and J. K. Rowling collide.
Cat in the Hat: ‘Miss Granger, meet Thing One and Thing Two!’
Fred: What are you doing, Hermione?
Hermione: Quiet! I’m practicing for the Look of Disdain Contest! I’ve won three times in a row, and I need to uphold my title…
After six out of seven of the wrong Weasley’s had asked her out, Hermione wondered if now was the time to invest in a flashing neon sign, or an anvil.
Fred: Our Hermione replica is nearly complete!
George: She can sit in on our classes and take notes.
Fred: Only one problem…
George: We can’t get her to raise her hand!
Fred: No one would believe it’s the real thing.
Fred: ‘No, Hermione, THIS is how you do the Revlon hair whip!’
Hermione: *Sighs* ‘Fred? Please tell your brother that the way to a girl’s heart is not by treating her like a scented candle….’