Week of April 30, 2006
Choir: *Singing* They’re creepy and they’re kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They’re altogether ooky, The Hogwarts Family.
Piano: Duh duh duh duh…
Snape and McGonagall: *Snap snap*
And in shocking recent events, Sererus Snape and Minerva McGonagall were married in a secret ceremony last night. The happy couple are honeymooning in Bermuda.
Snape and McGonagall pose for ‘American Gothic,’ although nobody trusted Snape with a pitchfork…
‘An’ by the power of the King of Rock’n’roll, Elvis Presley… and the State of Nevada, uh-huh… I prounouce ya’ll…. man an’ wife…. Thankya, thanya verrrry much….’
Vegas. What happens here, stays here.
—-Inspired by Mma Ramotswe’s caption from last week—-
Dumbledore: What is it, professors?
Snape: We were just wondering…. Could we have some more Turkish Delight?
They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
He’s greasy and he’s spooky,
He makes us all feel ooky,
The Hogwarts Family.
Their houses are museums,
And witches come to see ‘em,
They really are a scream,
The Hogwarts Family.
Doo doo doo do – HARRY!
Doo doo doo do – SCARRY!
Doo doo doo do, Doo doo doo do, Doo doo doo do – UNWARY!
So get an invisible cloak on,
A broomstick you can fly on,
We’re gonna pay a call on,
The Hogwarts Family!
McGonagall: Oh, Severus…
Snape: Oh, Minerva…
Eric: HEY! I thought I told you guys to knock it off with the shipping!
McGonagall: Who said anything about shipping?
Snape: Yeah, we’re sighing over the disappointment we both have with each other.
Eric: Oh… …carry on then!
Professor McGonagall: ‘Move over, Severus, you’re standing so close; I can feel your ”Dark Mark”!’
—-Continued from Sora’s caption last week—-
McGonagall: Did he just rip off a Family Guy joke?
Snape: Yes. Yes he did.
McGonagall: He must die.
Snape: I’ve got it covered.
—-Inspired by Tom’s caption last week—-
Professor McGonagall: *Sadly* I’ve always wondered why they banned ‘Nekkid Time’. This explains it.
Snape: Indeed… I’ve never before seen such a bad example of the Mexican Hat Dance…
Snape: Albus, there is a very serious matter at hand.
McGonagall: Yes, there is.
Snape: I am now #5 on your MySpace friends list… I was your #3…#3! How could you treat me like this?!
Dumbledore: Well… ummm
—-Inspired by HBDE’s caption from last week—-
McGonagall: Does he always do this…?
Dumbledore: *In background* Why thank you, Penny! …Yes, I do use Treseme on my beard! How did you know?
Snape: Unfortunately, for the rest of the world, yes.
Together: ‘BLU-UE MOOON….’
Snape: ‘We represent the Black Licorice Guild…’
Snape: *Thinking* Ashton and Demi have nothing on us….
The Weird Sisters: *Singing in the background* ‘…It’s a nice day for a – black wedding…’
Museum Guide: And these two lovely wax characters are Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape, Hogwarts teachers extraordanaire. They especially like it if you poke them. Hard.
Dumbledore: PEEVES! STOP PUTTING FREEZING CHARMS ON THE TEACHERS AND THEN PUTTING THEM IN PHONY WAX MUSEUMS!
Firenze: Do you know what it means when the light turns blue?
Snape: Excellent sales at Kmart!
Firenze: Exactly, Severus, exactly…
McGonagall: *Mutters* I hate Divination…