Week of June 4, 2006
Dumbledore: *Checking list* No, unfortunately, the Center for Narnian Children and Lions wasn’t invited to take part of this year’s Triwizard Tournament…
Peter: But we thought the White Witch would be here!
Dumbledore: Nope, no white witch here. But can I instead offer you a dark and broody, bat-like potions professor?
Hogwarts Girls: ‘…Forget about Cedric! There’s William Moseley!’ *sigh*
Dumbledore: ‘Argus, you imbecile — I told you to fetch my Pensieve, not the Pevensies! And get that cat out of here!’
Harry: The book-burners won’t be happy about this.
Ron: Why not? Narnia is a Christian allegory!
Harry: They’re here for a five-way wedding! It’s same-sex marriage, incest, polygamy, and bestiality all at once!
Ron: I can feel the flames already…
Dumbledore: Aslan, may I ask, how do you keep your fur so shiny and soft?!
Aslan: Let’s just say I get a lot of kisses and nice back rubs.
Dumbledore: Jo, I demand a re-write!
…And to think we all stood up for JKR when they said she was just copying old stories!
Dumbledore: ‘I don’t care if you defeated the White Witch, you can’t enter unless you’re 17!’
Dumbledore took the sudden appearance of two queens and three kings as an omen, and promptly moved to Las Vegas to become a professional poker player. Unfortunately, he lost everything since it wasn’t an omen, just the remnants of ‘Maniacal May’.
Lucy: *Gryffindor red cape*
Susan: *Ravenclaw blue cape*
Peter: *Hufflepuff yellow cape*
Edmund: *Slytherin silver cape*
Schmergo: (Watching ‘Narnia’ movie in theatre) *Jumps up and yells* Coincidence? I think NOT!
Sadly, this is a true story… my sister can vouch for this. I spilled my popcorn on her
Dumbledore: Oh, I know this one! Is it….Toy Story!?
Filch: That was last week, Sir….
Dumbledore: Is it….The Da Vinci Code!?
Filch: That was WAAAAY back….
Dumbledore: Is it….Pretty Woman?
Filch: It would have been if Eric had FINALLY listened to me….
Dumbledore: ‘Godric! I always knew you’d come back!’
After the Da Vinci code invaded the Caption Contest, the Vatican sent Aslan as rebuttal.
Lucy: I heard that you know where they put Mr. Tumnus.
Dumpledore: Well actually we had to put him under the witness protection program to hide him from the Witch, so now his name is Firenze.
Dumbledore: ‘Aslan, I thought we agreed not to be seen in public together! We’re on opposite sides of the Christian Literature war! This is most certainly not groovy.’
Dumbledore: I’m pleased to anounce to you that the kings and queens of Narnia are going to be sorted into your houses. One for each house.
Edmund: Doesn’t take a genius to figure out where I’m going…