CC #202: Week of February 4, 2007
McGonagall: *Holds Hermione up by her hat*
Hermione: Let me go! I don’t know why it’s called Deathly Hallows!
Sorting Hat: *Thinking* ‘WELL, I’ve already made a few Hufflepuffs, too many Slytherins, so, hum, eenie meenie minie moe… GRYFFINDOR!’
McGonagall: It’s okay, Professor Dumbledore, it says here that she was good this year.
Dumbledore: Excellent, and what would you like for Christmas, young one?
Hermione: All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth… to be smaller.
Sorting Hat: ‘Goodness, Ms. Granger! You’ve certainly had some wild nights in Tijuana by the looks of it! …Oh, I mean, GRYFFINDOR!’
Sorting Hat: Ah… Difficult, very difficult. Plenty of dandruff, I see!
Hermione: *Thinking* My skirt is blue, my shoes and socks are blue. I’m bound to be sorted into Ravenclaw!
Sorting Hat: *Shouts* GRYFFINDOR!
Hermione: Well, at least I’ll be the smartest in my house…
McGonagall: And now, students, look very carefully… When I shake the hat, a rabbit will magically appear. And….. VOILA!
Hermione: *Appears under the hat*
Draco: Well, it’s a rabbit alright… with teeth like those, who wouldn’t be?!
Sorting Hat: Hmm… Very interesting… WHAT? SHE’S A BEARS FAN!
Dumbledore: Get her out of here – the ltitle Muggle! How dare she?
Hermione: But… I swear… I wasn’t… I –
Dumbledore: It was obvious the Colts would win… what is your problem?
Draco: The filthy mudblood!
Hermione: ‘Um, excuse me, do you think I could just grab my book and read up on how to get into Gryffindor quickly?’
McGonagall: *Struggling with hat* It – won’t – go – on-your-head! For goodness’ sake, child, what is in there?!
Hermione: Well, if you really want to know, I’ve read…
McGonagall: Hat… won’t… fit… on hair! *rams on Hermione’s head*
Hermione: *Thinks* Well, if she can’t get it on my head, she’ll certainly have a problem with that girl in the middle…
Hermione: ‘I don’t know, Professor… it doesn’t really go with my shoes.’
Hermione: ‘Not Weasley… not Weasley…’
Familiar handwriting located on the front panel, upper right hand corner of Dumbledore’s Chair:
‘J.K. Rowling sat here while snacking on a biscuit — 13/2/91’
*The inevitable continued tribute to Monty Python*
Students: We have found a witch! May we burn her?
McGonagall: Bring her forward.
Hermione: I’m not a witch, I’m not a witch!
McGonagall: But you are dressed as one.
Hermione: THEY dressed me up like this!
McGonagall: *To students* Well?
Students: Well, we did do the nose… and the hat, but she’s a witch!
McGonagall: What makes you think she’s a witch?
Ron: well, she turned me into a newt!
McGonagall: A newt?
Ron: …I got better.
Students: Burn her anyway!
-Lindsey Loo Hoo
Hermione: Um… Professor, you ripped the parchment!
McGonagall: No, I did not, Miss Granger!
Hermione: I’m almost certain you did. Oh, nad your hat is crooked.
McGonagall: It’s supposed to fall sideways, Miss Granger…
Hermione: Oh well… do you realize that you’ve made a mistake in the spelling of the names?
McGonagall: Miss Granger, I –
Sorting Hat: GRYFFIN-
McGonagall: *Interrupting and pulling the hat off* Ravenclaw it is!
McGonagall: Let’s put the Sorting Hat on your head, and see what house you will be in…
Sorting Hat: Geeze, Granger, quit thinking for a second – you’re clouding my judgement!