Week of September 2, 2007
Harry: I don’t understand – Cho… how did this happen?
Cho: You know, the weirdest thing… I was telling Ginny Weasley about how I kissed you under the mistletoe the other night, and she fixed my hand to the doorframe!
Harry: Huh – how strange…
Harry had had no idea just how much he needed to teach the DA members when he signed up for the job…
Harry: ‘Now, Cho. Let’s write the alphabet in the air with our wands again. I’ll help you – okay? Right then… A… B… C…’
Ron: *To Harry* ‘You see, i’ts just like that Muggle golf trick my dad told me about. You have to get right up behind her and…’
Cho: *Thinking* My wand looks like a kebab.
Harry and Ron: *Thinking* Her wand looks like a kebab.
Harry: Now, class, I will teach you how to disarm your opponent. First, you must –
Ron: -Expelliarmus, right?!
Harry: No, you just go out and grab it like this. *Grabs Voldemort’s wand*
Voldemort: Ouch! That was my finger!
Rupert Grint: *Thinking* This scene was sooo much better when Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly did it in A Beautiful Mind…
Harry: For Merlin’s sake, Ron, can’t you take a hint?! I’m standing here with my girlfriend and an extremely large symbolic object in my hand. Can’t you give us some privacy?!
Ron: *Mutters* I don’t know what Cho’s lookign so pleased about – the ‘symbolic object’ may be large, but nothing else is…
Ron: *Watches silently, thinking* So, Harry thinks he can just walk in here and get all the girls. He thinks he’s sooo smooth. Little does he know that a pillar is about to fall on the both of them. Score one for Ronald Bilius Weasley!
Ron: *Slyly* ‘Nice one, Harry! Have you ever heard of the book 12 Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches…?’
Cho: You’re a really good teacher, Harry…
Ron: Yeah, you’re especially good at teaching Hover Charms. By the way, Nigel just fell from mid-air!
‘Yeah, you hold your wand like this and say Bleu Highlightos! and then Luna and Neville can have cool blue highlights like the rest of us! I hope this won’t help Umbridge distinguish who’s in the D.A….’
Harry, Ron, and Cho playing Wii at Nintendo World.
*A sample of Fred and George’s Picking Up Witches 101 class*
George: Ahhh, yes. As you can see here, Harry is performing the ‘let me show you how it’s done’ move with Ron close at hand in case he runs out of compliments.
Fred: Yes, one of my personal favorites. Very effective.
George: Don’t be afraid to take notes, now! This is good stuff!
Harry: Very well, Cho. You’ve managed to do a proper Anti-Age Charm. But next time, try to hit the target – instead of Professor McGonagall…
Ron: Blimey, Professor, you look good!
Harry teaching Cho how to do a Patronus and Ron on how to hold a gilr’s hand…
Cho: Oh, so that’s how you do it!
Ron: Oh, so that’s how you do it!
Ron: *Thinking* I wonder what Harry’s thinking right now…
Harry: *Thinking* I wonder what would happen if I was in Ravenclaw like Cho. I bet she’s really smart and her mind is full of intelligent thoughts.
Cho: *Thinking* Wow, those cupcakes at dinner were really good!
Ron: *Whispers to Harry* You know, she’s no good for you…
Harry: Would you rather have me date your sister?
Ron: *Whispers* Get a move on, mate! Don’t just stand there holding her wrist!
Cho: Harry, would you like to –
Harry: *Kisses Cho*
Cho: *Bewildered* -teach me how to make a Patronus?
Harry: …and you put your thumb right here. There! That’s how you hold a wand!
Cho: Oooh, thanks, Harry! *Turns and starts snogging him*
Ron: Well, teaching girls how to hold their wands wasn’t in Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches, but it seems to have worked!’
Ron: It’s only a model.
Harry: *To the judges* So, what do you think of our triplets costume?!
Judges: Sorry, but there’s no way you could be triplets because you’re of different ethnicities.
Ron: I’m not black!
Harry: Not you… *whispers* her…
Cho: I’m not black either! What are you talking about?
Cho: *Thinking* Oh my god, he’s touching me! He’s touching me!
Harry: *Thinking* Oh my god, I’m touching her! I’m touching her!
Ron: *Thinking* They’re gonna make poor Nigel fall on his face. I just know it…
Harry: Didn’t I tell you to be careful with that superglue, Cho?!
Ron: I wouldn’t complain if I were you, mate, now you have unlimited access to the girls’ changing rooms!
Harry: …and then you swish your hand this way and it tells you what Ron’s future looks like!
Cho: *Peers upward* What does that mean?
Harry: Looks like something brown and bushy…
Ron: …and carrying books?! *Hopeful*
Harry: Maybe it means you’re going to publish Monster Book of Monsters, Volume II!
Hermione: *Off-screen* Ahem!
*In attempt to learn a new spell*
Cho: -Like this? *Wiggles wand around*
Harry: No, like this… *Takes hold of Cho’s hand and waves it around*
Cho: Oh, like THIS? *Waves it again*
Harry: No, like THIS! *Takes her hand again*
Ron: Just kiss, already!
One day in the Room of Requirement…
Ron: Oh my…
Cho: Um, I can explain, Harry –
Harry: Yeah – I don’t think there is an explanation on why your boggart is me with a bald head…
Cho: *Thinking* I wish I was with Cedric right now…
Harry: *Thinking* I wish Cho would stop wishing I was Cedric…
Ron: *Thinking* I wish I had Harry’s way with girls…
‘There’s no magic involved, just hit the pinata with the stick already!’
Harry: ‘Team Dumbledore!’
Ron: Wow, Harry! How’d you get that Patronus to do a Vaudeville act?!
Harry: It’s all in the wrist!
Cho: Harry, I can explain!
Harry: Your Patronus is – RON?!