Week of October 14, 2007
Tonks: So, apparently, I’m your protégée.
Moody: *Looks surprised* First I’ve heard of it.
Kingsley: *Thinking* Tonks’ hair smells like grapes… yummy!
Tonks: *Thinking* Well, since I’m wearing these clothes I guess I’ll have to go listen to Jimmy Eat World and cry as soon as we get home.
Moody: *Thinking* If only this wasn’t a children’s book I’d be undressing a ccertain someone with my magical eye. Darn those kids!
Kingsley: *Thinking* With God as my witness, I will sneak into every single CC image until my dying day!
Announcer: And now, the winner of Miss Witch Weekly – Nymphadora Tonks!
Tonks: *Whispering* Get backstage, Mad-Eye. I know you’re jealous, but I won, fair and square. *Steps out onto the stage smiling and waving*
Because everyone was so enthralled with meeting the Boy-Who-Lived, Kingsley Shacklebolt’s excellent ‘Thomas Jefferson on-the-nickel’ pose was entirely missed.
Moody: What is with that light switch? It’s not a switch. It’s not even a lever! It’s a freaking button!
Tonks: Moody, let’s try and focus here…
Tonks: This little light of mine… I’m gonna let it shine!
Mad-Eye: Would you mind turning that light out so that I can use my magical eye for dastardly purposes without being caught?
Tonks: Wotcher, Harry!
Harry: Tonks, Moody, Kingsley – what are you all doing here?
Moody: Rescuing you, of course!
Harry: …This seems fairly familiar…
Michael Goldenberg: Keep going!
Tonks: Hey, look, I can make my hair glow in the dark! *Illuminates hair*
Moody: AH! Confound it, girl, turn down your hair!
Kingsley: I rather like it – I wish my hair would glow like that.
Tonks and Moody: *Stare at Kingsley*
Did you know that 2 out of every 3 people will be killed by Death Eaters? No? Well, you should.
Tonks: *Whispers to Moody* ‘Would now be a bad time to admit my closet love of impromptu Broadway numbers?’
Harry: ‘Hey, there’s Moody! And Tonks! And Kingsley! And L-HEY! Where’s Remus Lupin?! I want my chocolate!’
Tonks: I spy… something beginning with the letter… H…
Moody: Harry Potter?
Tonks: Mhmm! I spy… something beginning with the letter M.
Moody: …More Harry Potter?
Tonks: That’s two in a row, Mad-Eye!
Kingsley: And that’s when I shot her, Your Honour…
Tonks: I spy…. something beginning with E.
Moody: *Rolling his eyes* Even more Harry Potter…
Tonks: I know something you don’t know.
Moody: Really? And what’s that?
Tonks: My wand has a crush on your walking stick.
Harry: Hey, Tonks, could you give me that Wilbur Robinson hairstyle again like last week?
Tonks: Sure, but I promised Mad-Eye a Lewis hairstyle first.
Harry: *Looks at Mad-Eye* How can you do both?
Tonks: I got the caffeine patch!
Tonks: *Bursts in* Tell me where we can find Harry Potter!
Harry: Only if you can tell me how to get hair like a Muggle troll doll’s!
Tonks: ‘I know you said ‘your place or mine,’ but maybe we should go back to mine…’
Tonks: Lumos Maxima!
Moody: I see no shadow of yours on the wall…
Tonks: Oh, yeah, because you see everything… Did you see your death?
Moody: Nymphadora say wha’?!
Moody: Wait, Nymphadora, I’ve got to check the Honeymoon Suite for Dark Wizards! Constant vigilance!
Tonks: I’ve got constant something else on my mind at the moment…
Kingsley: *Groans* Newlyweds…
Presenting ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide on Looking Out of Place’
-Havocess and Sierra
Tonks: Harry, Moody has something he would like to say to you…
Moody: *Staring at the floor, reluctantly* I’m sorry I cleaned my eye in your water glass.
Tonks: ‘Oh, sorry, Albus – Gellert. We’ll come back later.’
Dumbledore is searching through Harry’s closet
Tonks: Dumbledore, come out of the closet!
Dumbledore: What? How’d you – oh, right, never mind…
Tonks: Ah, Dumbledore’s room. I like the wallpaper…
Moody: It explains a lot…
Tonks: Yeah, pink flowers…
Moody: It’s… pretty…
Tonks: Welp, moving on…