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CC #242: Week of November 21, 2007

CC #242: Week of November 21, 2007

Week of November 21, 2007

Mrs. Figg: Lovely night, isn’t it, Harry?
Harry: Lovely? I was just attacked by Dementors!
Mrs. Figg: And your cousin was almost kissed.
Harry: Yeah, but that doesn’t matter.
-Gaby

Harry: Mrs. Figg? Why are you wearing a poncho? It’s not even raining!
Mrs. Figg: Why were you sitting on a swingset in a park in the middle of nowhere?
Harry: Touche…
-Austin

From Shaun of the Dead:
Mrs. Figg: Dementors in Surrey… what’s your plan, then?
Harry: Right… I’ll take Dudley’s arm, walk over to his mum’s, we go in, get expelled from Hogwarts – ‘I’m so sorry, Harry’ – then the Order will grab me, we go over to Sirius’s place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
-Marina

Harry: Hurry up, can’t you see my cousin’s going to be sick?
Mrs. Figg: *Smiles under raincap* Bring it on!
-Fred the Holey

Dudley: ‘Hey, look, I’ve got Harry armpits! Get it?’
-David

Harry: ‘Mrs. Figg, help! Dudley’s staring at the sky and muttering something and OH MY GOD YOU’RE DOING IT, TOO…!’
-Austin

Harry: Help! *Falls to ground*
Mrs. Figg: Yes, yes, it is a lovely evening… *keeps walking*
-Liv3inLov3

–In continuation of Lisa’s caption last week–
Dan: I’m sorry, Dudley! I had NO idea the haircutter person knew judo!
-Kiki

Mrs. Figg: In my day, cousins didn’t fight! They played marbles… and kicked the can… and chase-the-wooly-mammoth… actually, go ahead and headlock him, Dudley; you’d better enjoy your youth while you can.
-Angelbot

Voiceover: Albus Dumbledore is gay…
Mrs. Figg: Jo is courageous and admirable.
Harry: Interesting. Anyway…
Dudley: I wish she would have omitted that info…
-Aliauthor

Harry: You’re having me committed?
Woman: Well, it was fun pretending I was a witch for a while, but you can only take fantasies so far…
-Laura

Harry: ‘Ha, Dudley! Your shirt isn’t so shiny now, is it?!’
-KarEn

Harry: *Sticks his head through Dudley’s arm* Peek-a-boo?
Mrs. Figg: Harry, dear, I know you have post traumatic stress disorder, but this is hardly the place…
-Valencia

Harry: ‘HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed! Do you see him repressing me?!’
-Dobby

Mrs. Figg: Thank goodness I’m not wearing my sombrero.
Harry: Why?
Mrs. Figg: It would make us look silly.
Harry: …
-Betsy

Harry: ‘I don’t think this 3-legged race is working, Mrs. Figg.’
-Evil Fire Space Monkey

Mrs. Figg: ‘Oh, look, my spaceship is here. Have fun, Harry.’ *Walks off*
-Molly

Voiceover: ‘Today, on Impractical Carrying Positions…’
-Shana

Harry: *Disgusted* I think I just stepped on dung!
Mrs. Figg: Good – Fletcher deserves to be roughed around a bit!
Harry: Not that Dung… dog dung… ew…
-Lindsay R.

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