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CC #248: Week of January 13, 2008

CC #248: Week of January 13, 2008

Week of January 13, 2008

Fudge: ‘Sup?
Arthur: ‘Sup?
Lucius: ‘Sup?
Harry: Right…
-Shannon

Lucius: You are about to enter the Chamber of Delights.
Harry: What’s in the Chamber of Delights?
Lucius: Delights, of course.
Harry: Could you be more specific?
Lucius: Me… wearing a Speedo.
Harry: Could you be less specific?
-Sam

Fudge: Quick, they can see us! Make it look like you’re not bribing me!
Malfoy: Er… *Gets down on one knee, speaks loudly* Cornelius, will you marry me?
Fudge: Is that all you can think of?
Malfoy: *Still loudly* What do you mean ‘no’?
-Sixty Four

Brick 1: Hey man.
Brick 2: Hey, what’s up?
Brick 1: Oh, I was just thinking about our lives right now. I mean, we never get the recognition we want.
Brick 2: You know, you’re right. I didn’t major in drama just to be an extra in a movie…
Brick 1: You’re right.
Brick 2: And my cousin was in the first movie… he was one of the bricks that Hagrid tapped… he had to get surgery after that…
Brick 1: Yeah! And my sister was cast as a grimy brick in the Chamber of Secrets! It completely ruined her self-esteem!
Brick 2: I say we take revenge.
Brick 1: Sounds good.
*The wall to the left collapses, leaving Lucius and Fudge completely unharmed.*
Brick 2: Darn, missed.
Lucius: What the…?
-Steven

And Fudge stared in horror as he realised there had been an audience witnessing his defeat in Rock, Paper, Scissors.
-NotAMuggle

WB remakes High Noon, adapting it slightly to fit the storyline of their most popular franchise.
-Bellt

Lucius: *Sudden flash of inspiration* Imperio!
Fudge: *Eyes go blank*
Harry: Uh oh…
Arthur: …time for your hearing, Harry!
-ZoeRachel

Mr. Weasley: And here, Harry, we see the blond jerkasaurus and the Tyrant-osaurus Rex, having a nice conversation!
Harry: Ooh!
-Tidina4Ever

Harry: Mr. Weasley, why is Fudge wearing a silly hat?
Mr. Weasley: You see, Harry, Fudge isn’t in his right mind at the moment, it’s been warped by fear.
Harry: And fear has warped his fashion sense, too?
Mr. Weasley: Yes, I’m afraid so…
Harry: Has the same thing happened with Mr. Malfoy?
Lucius: HEY, I HEARD THAT!!!
-Luna

Harry: How do they keep this floor so clean?
Lucius: It’s polished daily by the naughty little boys who got expelled because they couldn’t resist using magic outside of school.
Harry: Wow…. good thing I’m not going to be expelled!
-Sam

Arthur: Look, Harry, it’s Fudge and his date
Fudge: Are you insinuating that I’m gay?
Arthur: No, not at all.
Malfoy: Are you insinuating that I look like a woman?
Arthur: Yes, absolutely.
-Betsy

Mr. Weasley: How can we get Minister Fudge to realize that he’s on the wrong side?
Harry: I have an idea… but I’m not sure it will work.
Mr. Weasley: Try it, Harry. What have we got to lose?
Harry: Okay, here goes… Red Rover, Red Rover, send Fudgie right over!
-Curlybean

Lucius: Oh, look, the Boy Who Lived. Don’t you have some Dark Lord to be running from?
Harry: Don’t you have some house elves to be abusing?
Lucius: Touche…
-Chelsea S.

Lucius: Who is that?
Fudge: Oh, it’s probably just one of those ‘Magical Tours’ again. So much for keeping our world a secret…
-Lupin’s Other Lover

Fudge: Obligatory Dumbledore is Gay Caption.
Lucius: What does that have to do with the situation at hand?
Fudge: Absolutely nothing.
-Hannah

*At Grimmauld Place*
Fred and George: *Off-screen* Harry, we know the perfect way for you to not be expelled from Hogwarts and to have your hearing cancelled!
*At the Ministry*
Mr. Weasley: *Beat boxing*
Harry: *Rapping* I’m inta nuggets y’all, I’m inta nuggets y’all. McNuggets, McNuggets, what? McNuggets, McNuggets, what?
Mr. Weasley: *Still beat boxing*
Harry: Ketchup and Mayo, Ketchup and Mayo…
Mr. Weasley and Harry: Chicken McNuggets!
Lucius: …
Fudge: I want some Chicken McNuggets… Potter, your hearing is cancelled with all charges dropped. Lucius, perhaps you could give directions to the nearest McDonald’s…
-D&M

Harry: *Whispers* Mr. Weasley, does this look suspicious to you?
Arthur: *Whispers* Yes, indeed, but we have to get to your hearing.
Both: *Walk away*
Lucius: Okay, Minister, back to business.
Cornelius: Yes, of course. If I order two Double Caramel Delights, do I get a discount?
-GDH7

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