CC #249: Week of January 20, 2008


Guy in Middle: ‘I want his hat…’
-Mrs. Reynolds


Dumbledore: *Off-screen* Who votes that we clear Harry?
*Everyone but Fudge and Umbridge raises their hand*
Fudge: Ha! It has to be unanimous, Dumbledore!
Harry: Who votes that the vote was unanimous?
*Everyone but Fudge and Umbridge raises their hand*
Harry: Majority wins. The vote was unanimous!
-Cecelia


Electile Dysfunction.
-John


Due to the capture of the yearly burner of the Hogwarts School transcripts, these students were finally able to graduate.
-GryffinVal


Harry: *Off-screen* Minister, perhaps the Wizengamot would be a bit more imposing if their hats weren’t so silly looking…
Fudge: *Off-screen* Nonsense, Potter. And to prove it, by show of hands, who thinks these hats look stupid?
Entire Wizengamot: *Raises hands*
-CFan01


Fudge: *Gloomily fundraising off-screen* …and since we’ve discovered that the treacle tart will be made my Hagrid… *sigh* – raise your hands if you would like to retract your order…
-Shivalla


Man on Left: What is it?
Man in rear: I – I don’t know…
Man in front: *Touches* It wiggles…
Woman: It’s Jello, you fools…
-KaleeyJ


Guy in Middle: ‘Excuse me… but may I use the little Wizard’s room?’
-LeighAnne


Harry: ‘…and Simon says right hand up…. right hand down. HAHA! You’re out!’
-Shannon


Man in Back Right: We’re number one! We’re number one!
Woman: We’re number five! We’re number five!
-KaleeyJ


Fred and George: Now, raise your right hand and repeat after us – ‘I solemnly swear…’
Wizengamot: I solemnly swear…
Fred and George: …that I…
Wizengamot: …that I…
Fred and George: …am up to no good.
Wizengamot: …am up to no good.
Fred and George: Congratulations! You are all now officially members of the Marauder Secret Society! You may throw your hats.
Wizengamot: *Throw their hats*
Fred: Now go get them.
-The Flying Squirrel


In response to the current economic, political and social turmoil in the Wizarding World, the distinguished members of the Ministry of Magic play ‘The Hokey Pokey’ in hopes that it will turn ‘it all’ around. Says one member: ‘that is, indeed, what it is all about.’
-Emma


Fudge: Who here honestly believes that I eat Goblins?!
Everyone: *Raises hand*
Fudge: …I still don’t see how the Quibbler found out, though…
-Kristine


While they may have failed miserably at upholding justice, the Wizengamot was surprisingly successful as a gospel choir.
Wizards: ‘This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…’
-Kate


Harry raising morale in the Ministry…
Harry: I can’t give all of you high-fives…
The Rest: Awwww…. PLEASE?!
-Pingu


Man in front: ‘Well this is awkward… we all came in the same outfit…’
-Moon Fang


Fudge: This is ridiculous!
Madam Bones: What’s ridiculous?
Fudge: The entire Wizengamot is taking the day off because they’ve injured their voting hands.
Madam Bones: Couldn’t you just send them to St. Mungo’s then?
At St. Mungo’s…
Welcomewitch: So… er… are you all from the Wizengamot?
-Rose W.


Percy: Sir, the Wizengamot are on strike.
Fudge: Yes, I can see that. Does this mean they’re going to cancel the Oscars?
Percy: Sir, you’re thinking of the writer’s strike.
Fudge: Oh… do the Wizengamot write anything?
Percy: They write captions for the MuggleNet Caption Contest.
Fudge: SUPPORT THE WIZENGAMOT!
Percy: Yes, yes, support the Wizengamot.
Fudge: Why did I just say that?
Percy: It appears they’re writing this one, sir.
Fudge: *Panics* Does this mean they control everything we do?
Percy: It appears so, sir.
Fudge: Great. I’m going to give every Wizengamot member everything they’ve always wanted. Then, I plan to run down Diagon Alley wearing nothing but Dobby the House-Elf’s tea cosy whilst screaming ‘I LOVE THE WIZENGAMOT!’ Oh, no, they really are controlling me!
Percy: Fascinating, sir. I’ll go tell the Daily Porphet what you plan on doing.
-One Very Angry Wizengamot Member


Fudge: Before we begin, let us say the pledge.
Wizengamot: *Pledge with right hand raised* I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.
Harry and Dumbledore: …
-Emily


Warner Bros. remakes 12 Angry Men and presents it as a Harry Potter spinoff. The public loved it, the critics hated it, and JK Rowling made over 50 million bucks. Everyone a winner!
-Jackson


Wizengamot Early Morning Aerobics.
-Princess Me