Week of January 27, 2008
Neville: ‘Did you three forget your plant projects again? Professor Sprout’s going to fail you all…’
‘Look out, night school, here we come!’
Hermione: *Is pondering, and then gets an idea* AHA!
Lamplight: *Turns on above her head*
Harry, Ron and Neville: *Burst out laughing*
Neville: I’m going to ask for courage!
Harry: I need a heart.
Ron: I need an oil can!
Hermione: Psst… it’s a brain…
Neville: I’m going to ask him for courage.
Harry: I’m gonna ask him for a heart.
Ron: I’m gonna ask for a brain.
Hermione: I’m gonna ask for Brad Pitt.
Neville: This is a small ice-cream.
Harry: That one’s even bigger! *Points*
Neville: Why’s everyone so serious?
Hermione: Shh! It’s a dramatic moment where we all pretend Harry’s crazy because he sees a winged horse thing, which we can’t see, and it’s a flashback into his past when he saw Cedric die right in front of him, which probably brought back memories of his own parents getting killed before him, which brings hated feelings towards Voldemort to the forefront, so can you imagine what he could be feeling right now?
Ron: Blimey, Hermione, did you say that all in one breath?
Ron: I can’t believe we are about to be killed by a giant dragon.
Harry: I know. You would have thought that we would have at least GOTTEN to Voldemort first…
Neville: At least there’s a bright side…
Harry: What’s that?
Neville: You three aren’t all wearing striped shirts.
Harry: What is that thing?
Ron: It’s hideous!
Neville: It’s my grandma…
Hermione: Well, I’m sure she has a lovely personality.
Neville: Why do you look so angry, Hermione?
Hermione: Because Harry and Ron are wearing my two best purses, and they didn’t ask before borrowing them.
Ron: But it totally matches my sweater!
-Cait in DA
Neville was mortified when he realized the event was a ‘Purse Party,’ and not in fact a ‘Rare and Ugly Plant Party.’ Needless to say, he was shunned by the other partygoers.
Harry: Do do do do do do!
Harry and Ron: Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, mimbulus mimbletonia phone!
Hermione: No, no, it’s all wrong!
Harry: But, it’s not a banana…
Neville: Hey, guys… what’s going on?
Hermione: Well we were going to go Meet the Spartans.
Harry: But this Rambo is blocking the path…
Ron: Bloody hell, he’s wearing 27 Dresses!
Neville: Oh! There he goes! Where’s he running to?
Hermione: Because when he gets there he’ll be Untraceable.
Neville: Why’s he need to be that?
Ron: Two words… Britney Spears.
Neville: Don’t look so upset, guys! I’ve got a mimbulus mimbletonia!
Mimbulus Mimbletonia: *Explodes*
Ron: *Covered in pus* Yep, much happier now, Neville, thanks…
Neville: *Thinking* I wish I could be upside-down right now… being right-side up is so overrated…
Neville: Umm… what’s wrong, you guys?
Neville: Hello? You are just ignoring me on purpose again. *Sighs* Oh well. Come on, mimbulus, let’s go. *Walks ahead still talking to his plant*
Harry: I told you he talked to it… come on, suckers, pay up!
Neville: Hey, guys, check it out! I just came up with this awesome riddle, you’ll never guess what it is. Ahem…
You better keep your hands off me.
Poke me and I might spew,
It could take hours of wiping up
That stinksap off of you!
Now guess what I am!
Hermione: A rabid pig?
Harry: A felt-tipped marker?
Hermione: A flying nun?
Harry: A charbroiled burger?
Ron: *Thinking hard with a strained-looking face* YOUR GRANDMOTHER!
Neville: Gah! *Stomps off*
Harry: I knew it was Dumbledore at Jazzercise.
-Skippy the Balrog
Hermione: Ron, can I ask you something?
Ron: *Anxiously* Yes?
Hermione: What should you do if you’re madly in love with someone, but don’t know how to tell them?
Ron: *Ecstatic* Tell them! Immediately! And give them a big passionate kiss! And then marry them, have kids named Hugo and Rose, and live happily ever after!
Hermione: Thank you, Ron. Hey, Neville…?
Harry: ‘Four kids and a plant…. Well, we’re screwed…’
Harry: Okay, let’s go.
Ron: I’m confused.
Harry: About what?
Hermione: Probably about the fact that Neville is holding a giant ice cream cone against his chest. It’s not confusing that Neville doesn’t care about stains, Ron.
Neville: It’s for Muggle Studies! We’re supposed to carry food around and pretend it’s a baby!
Hermione: I think you’re supposed to use food that won’t melt, get you messy, or make you hungry enough to eat it… *Grabs ice cream*
Neville: Give me my baby!
Hermione: *Swallows last bit*
Neville: Avada Ked-
Neville: *Lifts up sleeve and presses Dark Mark* It’s him! It’s the real Harry Potter!
Hermione and Ron: …
Harry: Um, whose side are you on?
Neville: *Holding ice cream cone* I was kidding. It’s a fake Dark Mark… I wanted my ice cream back!
Neville: Have you ever been to this part of the forest?
Harry: No, but I knew a guy once who saw someone from Toledo in here.
Ron: You mean an Ohian?
Neville: Well, I heard that there were some of those people who play flutes in here… you know, fifers.
Ron: My brother even saw a mommy horse in here once.
Hermione: That’s called a mare, Ronald.
All: Ohians, and Fifers and Mares, OH MY!
Ron: There’s something funny about that sop sign, Harry.
Harry: You say that about every sop, yeld or one vay sign, Ron.
Mimbular: Raising the bar