Week of March 23, 2008
Harry: ‘I had two fathers?!’
Harry was glad that no one else could see his heart’s desire… Wanting his parents was enough to get him teased, but a relationship with the Potions Master was bound to get him expelled!
-The Werewolf Mage
Harry: Snape’s my uncle? I don’t desire THAT at all!
Snape: Why do you think ‘desire’ is spelt backwards in the mirror, Potter?!
James: ‘Lily! You’ve got some ‘splainin to do!’
Tune in for the results of the paternity test next week on Maury!
Harry: ‘Mom, why can’t you just say ”no”?!’
Harry: Mom… Dad… Snape? What the – oh, right, Maniacal March. *Whew*
Snape: Guess again, Potter…
—-In honor of Potter Puppet Pals by Neil Cicierega—-
Harry: *GASP* ‘MY MOTHER WAS A BLAST-ENDED SKANK!’
LilY: ‘Well, um… it was the 70’s….’ *Shrug*
Snape: Feeling sentimental?
Harry: -Actually, yes…
Harry decided that becoming the poster boy for unconventional families might not have been such a great idea after all.
Lily: ‘Well, uh, this is awkward.’
Snape: ‘Feeling sentimental, are – Hey, look at that! I’m so much taller than him! And my hair is fabulous and not all square-shaped like his. And I don’t wear silly glasses! And still she picked him???’
Harry: ‘Hey, Mom, why do I look more like Snape than Dad?’
Harry: Professor Snape, you’re getting a bit too touchy feely with my family.
Lily: Harry is right, Severus. You should go.
Snape: But, Lily, you said I will always be a part of your family!
Lily: I meant that in a completely metaphorical sense… sorry.
Snape: ‘Tell me, Potter, what is this fanfic doing in your head?’
Harry: *Thinking* ‘Wow, I have strange desires….’
-Annie L. Potter
Queen II, Hogwarts style…
Snape: *Performs Occlumency on Harry* Ah, we return to a sentimental moment from your past…
Harry: Hey, Pops, you’re going gray!
James: Nah, Son, it’s just that this mirror needs a good dusting.
Harry: Oh. Hey, Mum, there’s this girl I like and she’s kinda cute and I’m not sure what to say-
Snape: ENOUGH! Back to reality!