Week of May 4, 2008
Homer: ‘Mmmm… Horcruxes.’
Comic Book Guy: ‘Worst. Caption Contest. Ever.’
Comic Book Guy: *Thinking* We are so going to be sued…
Comic Book Guy: ‘Longest. Line. Ever.’
At the Springfield release of DH:
Lisa: Oh, I’m so excited for midnight!
Marge: It’s so nice to see children reading again! It’s like the Little House books, only British!
Homer: Is there going to be donuts, Lisa?
Lisa: I don’t know, Dad. Probably not.
Homer: Magical donuts? Lucky Charms?
Lisa: No, and no. Magic is fictional… everyone knows that!
Comic Book Guy: *Shocked* Magic isn’t real? *Faints, and a Butterball Turkey falls out of his shirt*
Homer: Oooh! Are you going to eat that? *Bends down and starts eating* Nom nom nom…
Homer: WHAT? It’s only Hagrid’s flab! It’s not like I’m stealing…
Comic Book Guy: *Comes to* HEY! Who stole my flab?
Homer: Eep! *Runs*
Maggie: Suck, suck.
Comic Book Guy: ‘Worst. Caption. Ever!’
Flanders: ‘Wait, shouldn’t I be opposed to this?’
For all those who were wondering, Homer is obviously dressing up as Harry’s conga-dancing, chest-dwelling monster.
Comic Book Guy: *Dressed as Hagrid* ‘A witch with a unicorn horn? A snake in a tuxedo? Ugh, do these people even read the books? I haven’t seen such terrible costumes since Batman and Robin.’
Half-Blood Prince after the recent cuts to the visual effects budget.
Seamus and Dean: *Laughing* This show is bloody brilliant!!!
Harry: *Walks in* The Simpsons? You guys watch Muggle Television?
Seamus: Muggle tele-whata?
Dean: This is The Shunpikes!
Harry: *Walks away, mumbling* Huh…
Comic Book Guy: Hey, you, nice horse butt.
Skinner: What did you call me? And watch where you’re swinging that broom, you hairy oaf!
Comic Book Guy: *Hurt* Stupid horse thinks I’m a Squib. This is a Nimbus 7,892.
Skinner: I am not a stupid horse, I am a centaur, way more advanced than your little brooms.
Robbie Coltrain’s Hagrid: *Walks up* Hey, Bane, what’s cooking?
Skinner: Mars is bright tonight.
Yeah, we’re not really sure what happened either.
It was only after everyone turned yellow, Dumbledore was turned into a baby, McGonagall grew a horn, and Hermione shrank several inches that Hagrid realized the ‘Simpson Spell’ he’d been taught by that hooded stranger might not have been a good thing…
When Neville arrived at Luna’s family reunion, he realized he was in way over his head.
Matt Groening: Alright, James, win me over.
James L. Brooks: *Shows Matt a screenshot of an upcoming episode*
Matt: *Raises an eyebrow and looks to James with disdain* We’re ripping off Harry Potter…
James: *Nods, smiling brightly*
James: *Nods, his smile begins to fade*
Matt: *Shrugs* Well the first one did suck, and it’s not like we have anything good coming up anyway…
Hagrid: Hey, it’s one o’ the centaurs from the Forbidden Forest!
Foaly: No, I’m actually part of LEP. You know, from Artemis Fowl.
Hagrid: Nah, I’m pretty sure you’re from Harry Potter.
Foaly: No, I’m from Artemis Fowl.
Hagrid: I remember you from the Forest. Ain’t he a centaur from the Forbidden Forest, Hermione?
Hermione: Yes, it appears so.
Foaly: *Grumbling* D’arvit! A character from Artemis Fowl is finally in a caption, and he receives no recognition or respect!
Hagrid: I can’t believe they’re actually letting us into the Hufflepuff Common Room.
Hermione: Who knew it was in Springfield all along…
A Choir: *Singing* Something wicked this way comes…
Homer/Basilisk: D’oh! I mean… ‘Oy!
Guy in the Back: Why are we in line?
Hermione: This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see the room of unpicked captions.
Comic Book Guy: ‘Oh, I see how it is. Just because I have big bones, I’m Hagrid, huh?!?’
Homer: Hee hee, a donkey’s butt!
Marge: That’s a hippogriff.
Homer: Hee hee, a hippogriff’s butt!
Radio Host: ‘Well, folks, whaddaya know? A strange crowd of funny dressed people is growing, just outside King’s Cross Station. Come to think of it, funny people show up here every year on this day. I’ve seen that big guy before, and the unicorn lady. Bearded baby’s new, though…’
Edward Cullen: *In orange shirt* ‘Wow, look at all these Harry Potter fans. I don’t understand what the big deal is. Why would so many people ever become so obsessed with some fantasy book series? What’s so great about it? I would never take part in such a silly ordeal.’
Lisa: You do realize Hagrid couldn’t use brooms?
Comic Book Guy: *Sarcastically* Yes, and Nagini didn’t have legs, unicorns aren’t women, Dumbledore wasn’t one foot tall and Harry Potter wasn’t a girl.
Mr. Weasley: *Observing* ‘So these are Muggles in their natural habitat. Fascinating…‘
The Simpsons at Portus 2008.
Bart: ‘And, here we have yet another total rip off of Harry Potter!‘
Homer: Think about it, Marge! Wizards might be real!
Guy in Center: Obliviate!
-The Other Guy
Everyone lines up to get the antidote to the Simpsonius Potion that was slipped into their pumpkin juice for a bad joke by Peeves.
Harry: *Wakes up in the middle of the night sweating.*
Ron: What is it, Harry?
Harry: I just had a bad dream… I think it was a sign.
Ron: What was it about?
Harry: I dreamt that we were all portrayed as oddly-drawn people with yellow skin…