Week of July 13, 2008
Ron knew he was doomed when he discovered that the Slytherins had Tom Brady and Randy Moss in their Chaser group.
Ron: ‘Bloody Hell! This is the LAST time I let Mum dress me for Quidditch. I’m wearing a corset!‘
Ron: *Thinking* I’m so nervous for my first Quidditch match! Especially since my first one was supposed to be LAST year…
Ron: *Thinking to himself* Oliver would look so much better in this uniform.
Everyone: *Thinking to themselves* Oliver would look so much better in that uniform…
Ron: Why am I the only one who has to wear all this stupid protection gear, Harry?
Harry: Because, as Keeper, you’ll have balls flying at you at 200km/h and you have to block three goals at a time.
Ron: ‘It’s King Ron, actually. Just ”King,” though. Harry’s the High King. I know, it’s confusing.’
Ron: Um, you’ve got me wearing the helmet and chest padding because you want me to be extra protected, right?
Random Boy: Actually, our last Bludger broke. Fred and George volunteered you as a replacement.
Ron: Harry, you should have told me that it wasn’t fancy dress…
Harry: It’s basically initiation to the team, and besides, I didn’t know you were going to come dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle…
Rupert’s new movie: Friday Night Flights.
Ginny has a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ during her part of the Half-time Show.
Rupert: *Thinking* I think WB just likes to make me feel stupid…
Ron: I just had to ask why wizards have cannons when they already have bludgers.
Filch: *Off-screen* That will teach you to question how I do my job!
Ron: I didn’t question you! And I didn’t volunteer to be the human cannonball!
Filch: And see that you’re here every dawn at six a.m. to signal the start of the academic day!
Ron: ‘I didn’t want for it to come to this, but WB hasn’t given us a trailer, and it’s time to take action…’
Ron: ‘I can’t decide what’s worse – how I play, or how I look?’
Malfoy: ‘Nice bra, Weasley!’
Ron: *Turns around, angrily* ‘Watch your stick, mate! I’ve got bad luck with wooden sticks! They always seem to *gets hit in the face* …do that.’
Hermione: *Laughs herself into a coma*
Rugby fan CC Readers: I don’t get it…
‘I liked the old uniforms, THEY HAD CAPES!’
Example of what happens when the Riddikulus spell is applied to humans rather than boggarts.
Ron: If I don’t make it out alive, tell Hermione…
Ron: …I locked Crookshanks in my closet.
Ron: Yes, Mum, I’m wearing my cup JEEZE!
Molly Weasley: It’s for your own good.
Kid with Afro: Dude, Yo Mom is a witch!
Ron: I know!
Everyone was ready for ‘Beat Ron with sticks day.’
Ron: I still don’t understand why I’m the only one who has to wear all of this bloody gear!
Harry: I told you, Ron, it’s because you’re the most sensitive!
Seconds later, the entire team was wiped out by a poorly aimed rocket that the Joker had fired at Wayne Tower.
Hermione walks by on her way to the lake during Quidditch practice…
Guys Behind Ron: DAAANG. When did Hermione get so…. so… hot?!
Ron: *Dreamily* …One year, two months and seventeen days ago….. ….approximately.
Ron: ‘Tell me, why am I the only one wearing this ridiculous armadillo costume?’