Week of July 20, 2008
McGonagall: Mr. Potter, you haven’t been in the Great Hall for meals in three days! What’s going on?
Harry: I found something shinyyyyy. *Smiles with pride*
I wasn’t exactly sure how to tell you this in person, but you’re going to have to look for some dangerous magical artifacts that contain fragments of Voldemort’s soul. You may very well not come back. Good luck, my boy.
A. Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
P.S. Feel free to take a lemon drop on the way out.
Harry: ‘…I hate my life…’
Honey, I Shrunk McGonagall!
Harry: Voldemort’s after me, I can’t be with Ginny, Dumbledore’s dead and Snape killed him. How could my life be worse?
McGonagall: Madagascar is getting a sequel.
Dear Mr. Potter,
Sorry. Ron will walk in on you and Ginny on your 17th birthday.
Dumbledore: Well, Harry, I hope you know why you’re here?
Harry: Well, no, sir, actually, I don’t.
McGonagall: *Picks up remote and presses ‘Play’*
Video: *Shows Harry attacking Draco with Sectumsempra.*
Harry: Oh… that.
McGonagall: Harry, Dumbledore would have wanted you to have his wand. You can keep it…
Harry: No, it wouldn’t seem right. And besides, my wand and Voldemort’s share cores, so this one wouldn’t work as well against him. I think we should bury it with Professor Dumbledore.
Portrait of Dumbledore on the Wall: Okay, so I should have explained that to him… I hope he doesn’t leave the Snitch on his father’s grave…
Harry: ‘The question is not how I got your head on a stick; it’s how to get it off!‘
New from the Weasley’s joke shop: McGonagacicles!
Dobby: *Peeks around the leg of the desk with a pipe bomb in his hand while Harry is preoccupied*
Do you ever get the feeling that somewhere, somehow, a well-intentioned House-Elf is trying to kill you?
McGonagall: Potter, is everything alright? You look upset about something.
Harry: Something… something’s happening again. Something’s coming. I can feel it.
McGonagall: What is it?
Harry: I don’t know, but it’s something we’ve been waiting a long time for. It’s… it’s… something that people have been dying for. Wait, here it comes…
*Everything becomes black*
Once again, I must ask too much from you Harry.
McGonagall: …That was it?
McGonagall: That was Dumbledore’s. He wanted you to have it.
Harry: Oh? Has he gone on holiday or something…?
McGonagall *Stares and blinks*
Harry: *Blinks and stares*
Harry: When will he be back?
McGonagall: *Slowly backs out of the room*
Harry has stopped by Professor McGonagall’s classroom for a bit of extra help with his final exams. Unable to listen to the professor’s lecturing, Harry glances over to McGonagall’s desk.
Harry: Answers to the huge Transfiguration exam?! How lucky can I get!
McGonagall: Potter, those aren’-
Harry: *Pulls out a piece of paper and pen* Let’s see, then… answer to one is bread… two is milk… three…
McGonagall: Potter! I can hear you! And those aren’t the answe-
Harry: Thanks, Professor! I’m sure I’ll ace the exam now!
McGonagall: Potter!!! That’s my grocery list! Not the answers to the exa-
Harry: Ri-i-ight. Well, thanks for the ‘grocery list’ then, Professor! *Winks and walks out of the room*
Professor McGonagall knocked first after that.
Harry: *Reading letter*
To my dearest love Minnie,
Our love burns with the fire of a
Thousand burning potions.
Forever yours, Severus
McGonagall: Educational Decree 313, Potter — Flannel will not be tolerated.
Harry: I hate Umbridge.
McGonagall: Actually, the whole school voted for that one.