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CC #291: Week of March 8, 2009

CC #291: Week of March 8, 2009

Week of March 8, 2009

The Dursleys join the ranks of cereal mascots after Warner Bros. negotiate to make them the mascots of the newest brand: Bland-O’s.
-Sam

Uncle Vernon: ‘Oh, great and colorful bird, bestow upon me great fruity flavor!’
-Hermione’s Twin

Honey Bee: We would like you to join the Kids Cereal League!
Tony the Tiger: You would be grrr-reat for the new cereal ‘Big Ds’!
Dudley: Um…
-Sara

Uncle Vernon: Come back with my Fruit Loops, Toucan Sam!
Aunt Petunia: Come back, Rabbit! You’re going to be Dudley’s 37th birthday present!
Dudley: Hey, you silly Rabbit, give me back my Trix!
Ripper: *Bark, bark, bark eat Snap, Crackle and Pop, bark, bark!*
Honey Bee: Forget about the Trix! I want the honey you were eating! It’s mine!
Tony the Tiger: Look, there goes Harry the Grrr-reat!
Aunt Marge: *Floating away* This is what I get for eating too much cereal! AAAH!
-Leanna E.

Honey Bee: You know, Dudley, if you eat Cheerios for a month it will lower your outrageous cholesterol. It’s never too late in life, no matter how old you are!
Dudley: I’m twelve.
Bee: …
-Bellatrix the Strange

Bee: Cheerios!
Dudley: Aren’t you American?
-Laestig

Vernon: ‘We say no to owls and he uses tropical birds!’
-Fred

Honey Bee: ‘Is Dancing with the Stars that popular over here? I mean, come on! Who doesn’t pay attention to us loveable but annoying food advertisers?’
-Jen

Craziness is not talking to your cereal; craziness is if your cereal talks back.
-Joshua D-R

The Dursleys were astonished when WB announced it would be increasing its revenue by incorporating commercials into the next movie. Among the slogans you can find in the next Harry Potter installment are:
1) Silly Muggles! Magic Trix are for wizards!
2) Spell-O-Tape: The cure for all wands that Snap, Crackle and Pop.
3) Looking for Voldemort? Just follow your nose!
4) Bee happy, bee at Hogwarts.
5) Hermione Granger – she’s more than good at magic. She’s Grr-reat!
-Sasha

The search to find Lucky has become desperate.
-Skyscraper

Dudley: Take me to cereal land!
Kellogs Characters: NO!!!
Dudley: Why not?!
Kellogs Characters: You’ll eat our corn- and rice-based babies!
-T.J.

It was then that Dudley realized Dumbledore had entirely miscalculated the identity of the seven Horcruxes, by completely overlooking Voldemort’s infatuation with sugary breakfast cereals.
-Mariel

Dudley: ‘I’ve really got to stop eating 5 pounds of ice cream, 10 bags of cheese puffs, 3-and-a-half gallons of soda, 6 packs of cookies, and 3 cups of coffee before bed.’
-SPEW

Dudley: ‘…are you my conscience?’
-Gylfie

Dudley: -and the bad news?
Bee: Ironically, cartoon breakfast cereal characters eat children.
-FNOwl

Dudley Muggle-Crunch.
-Mr. Prongs

Vernon: ‘Oh, Great Tucan Sam! Please, help my son! He’s talking to cereal box mascots!’
-roXtar

And at that point, the Dursleys knew that they should never have upset Harry, for he had let loose the cereal killers.
-MooDog

Mr. Dursley: ‘Oh, no………. it’s the in-laws!’
-Kelly

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