Week of April 12, 2009
Harry: Wow! A piano!
Slughorn: Um.. yes, a piano.
Harry: I have always wanted to try one of these! *Pounds on keys*
Slughorn: *Covers ears*
Harry: Professor? I’m afraid that I can’t find your chopsticks in this thing…
Slughorn: You’re not supposed to find chopsticks, you’re supposed to play chopsticks! Come now, boy, have some sense.
Harry: Well, it’s not like I can learn to play the piano right out of the blue.
Slughorn: The directors seem to think so.
Slughorn: Ahead warp factor 1, Mr. Potter.
Harry: Aye, sir.
Harry: *Singing and playing* Heart and soul. I fell in love with you, lost control…
Slughorn: OK! If you stop playing that wretched song I’ll give you that darn memory!
Slughorn: Harry, don’t get me wrong, your playing is beautiful. But I still don’t think Emerson is going to let you play at his wedding.
Harry: *Continues playing Wedding March*
Harry: *Plays and sings*
Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school-girl well can be.
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school.
Slughorn: STOPP!!! I’ll tell you everything about Horcruxes you want to know! How did you know that Gilbert and Sullivan was my weakness?
Harry: Well, I do have some of the Dark Lord’s powers!
Slughorn: That’s exactly how Tom Riddle got it out of me the first time!
Harry: *Plays The Sorcerer’s Apprentice on the piano.*
Firebolt: *Walks around the room, carrying buckets of water in its hands that it has sprouted.*
McGonagall: *Walks in* So this is how you’re using Transfiguration! Mr. Potter, do you think this is some kind of joke?!
Hermione: Oh, Harry, they’re only interested in you because they think you’re a world-famous concert pianist!
Harry: But I AM a world-famous concert pianist…
Harry: Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?
Slughorn: All you did was play a ‘Hannah Montana’ song.
Fred: Ten Bucks says Simon makes him cry.
George: Twenty says he makes Simon eat slugs.
No-one can defeat Voldemort without composing a victory piece first!
Harry: ‘The Bat-Cave should be just behind the bookcase… Oh, if only I could just hit the right keys!!!’
Harry: ‘Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in a bad fanfic?’
Harry: Gee, sir, this is some piano.
Slughorn: Do you know how to play it?
Harry: No, but I want to look at it just for fun.
Harry then plays a beautiful melody.
Slughorn: How did you do that?
Harry: I have absolutely no idea!
Slughorn: No, no, no! Do it AGAIN! Jail House Rock is much slower and sadder. He’s in jail for Merlin’s sake!
Harry Potter is rising quickly through the charts with a talent that NO ONE knew about. With his recent album, Don’t Look at my Scar, his songs Slughorn’s Lament, My Cool Converse Shoes, Twin Cores, and If I Ever Admit I’m Still in Love with Cho Chang, the young scarred wizard is making a new name for himself: The Boy Who Learned How To Play Piano in Slughorn’s Office.
Slughorn: Hmm… let’s see if he’s inherited his second uncle twice removed Ophelius ‘Crazy Finger’ Potter, the renowned Wizard pianist’s talent.
Harry: *Playing Hedwig’s Theme*
Slughorn: Yes! I knew it.
Harry: Ladidumdum, ladiDA, oh ladidumdum, oh ladiDA.
Slughorn: I can definitely see why this wasn’t in the book.
To this moment, Harry is still trying to figure out the keys and what they have to do with ‘Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge…’
‘He says, ”Slughorn can you give me a memory?
I’m not really sure how it goes,
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I need it complete,
Because Dumbledore told me so…”
Sing us a song, you’re the Chosen One, sing us a song tonight! Yes we’re all in the
Mood for that memory, and you’ve got us feelin’ alright!’
Harry: ‘You inspired this one, Horace -‘
”Makin’ my way downtown. Walkin’ fast. Faces passin’. I’m home-bound…”
Harry: ‘Gotta work on Ginny’s Lullaby…‘
Slughorn: Wow, Harry! I didn’t know you could play!
Harry: Neither did J.K. Rowling.
Daniel Radcliffe: ‘So is it really necessary that I learn Rachmaninoff for this scene? Wouldn’t chopsticks do? I mean, who would Harry have learnt Rachmaninoff from? Mrs Figg’s cats?’
”’I’m a little teapot, short and…” Sorry, Professor, but that’s as far as I learned…’
‘Oh, I wish I could play the Harry Potter theme!’
Harry is playing It’s the Hard-Knock Life from Annie.
Little did Harry know that, in his youth, Voldemort had been an avid piano player, and the seventh Horcrux was Beethoven’s Fifth Concerto.